Since the Terrible Swede just had to put me in a bad mood (right when I had something to be in a good mood about), I'm going to take it all out on Precious Moments.

What are Precious Moments? They have to be the cheesiest pieces of art, figurines, and other collectibles that make women (with a few exceptions) go, "How cute!" and make men go, "How pathetic!" They present these androgynous children doing such things as praying and pretending to be angels and other just horrid themes. The artistic quality of all of this make the pictures of stickmen I drew in kindergarten look like fine art. Hell, Pablo Picasso deserves his reputation as a genius when compared to Precious Moments. If you know what I think of Picasso, then you know how truly horrible I think these things are. There should be a parody version called either Disgusting Moments or F***ed-up Moments. It could have the kids (no longer cute) worshiping the porcelain god or stabbing each other with pitchforks. That would rock.

Peaches. We now have Peaches.

Harvey, Harvey, Harvey the wonder hamster
He doesn't talk and he doesn't squeal
He just runs around in his hamster wheel
Harvey, Harvey, Harvey the wonder hamster
Hey Harvey!

Peaches is a hamster, if you couldn't figure it out. Yes, since Louie died, my sister decided the perfect way to fill the void was to get a small rodent. That is not the typical response one might expect to see, but that's my sister. Actually, I like the hamster. She is very active in and out of her cage, and she has very soft fur. When I was younger, I had a gerbil and he was extremely mean. That made him extremely good for practical jokes. I remember freaking out one of my female friends by putting him on her shoulder. She never did forgive me for that. So stay away from me when I have small rodents in tow. Peaches probably will not help me with any practical jokes anytime ever. My sister would kill me and then take away my ability to reproduce.