Friday, April 03, 2015

How to handle a layoff in three easy steps..

1. After getting the news and gathering your things, go to the liquor store.  Buy as much alcohol as you think you can afford.  This is all the alcohol you get until you find a new job unless you can convince your buddies to buy you more.

2. Once at home, get onto LinkedIn and start looking for a new job.  Begin drinking throughout this process.  Pray that a recruiter will call you with a lead.  Contact everyone you can think of to see if they have any leads.

3. At 5pm, get off the computer and pull up Netflix. Start binge watching you favorite show.  Continue drinking if you wish or sober up if you need to be somewhere.