I realize that my new hymns have come along too late to be included in the new hymnal, but maybe we can all convince our congregations to use the little handouts in the middle of the folder. You know what I'm thinking about. I must apologize for the typos. I didn't give myself enough time for a proper editing.

Tune: All Hail the Power of Jesus' Name

All hail the power of Rick Warren
Let churches heed his call
Bring forth the church growth template here
And watch the numbers stall!
Bring forth the church growth template here
And watch the numbers stall!

The Purpose Driven Life? we bring
To show us all our call
Ignore Luther and Walther too
And watch the numbers stall
Ignore Luther and Walther too
And watch the numbers stall!

That pastor leading us in praise
We squirm like Monty Hall
We sing some songs by Graham Kendrick
And watch the numbers fall!
We sing some songs by Graham Kendrick
And watch the numbers stall!

Word and sacrament are not
Enough to save us all
We must engage in growth techniques
And watch our numbers stall!
We must engage in growth techniques
And watch our numbers stall!

The law is what we've got to use
To motivate us all
We'll flog ourselves like Luther did
And watch our Numbers stall!
We'll flog ourselves like Luther did
And watch our Numbers stall!

Lutherans do not do well
We are not on the ball
When we do other liturgies
And watch our numbers stall!
When we do other liturgies
And watch our numbers stall!

We do not do praise and worship
We sing like a dust ball
Our eyes strain at the Power Point
And watch our numbers stall!
Our eyes strain at the Power Point
And watch our numbers stall!


Once you get me going, I can't stop. I should have finished my A Mighty Fortress parody.