Monday, February 28, 2005

Guess what? I actually got around to changing my poll todays, so now you have a three choice poll. You get to vote for the miracle you think is most likely. The last poll ended with "The Stratigraphic Column" taking 50% and the other three taking the other 50%. This new poll should be fun!
The second major storyline of 24 is resolved. #3 is about to begin. Hehehe.
I'm surprised I didn't find this earlier. Yes, Virginia, there is a BTK blog.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Erica has an excellent post on BTK. Just ignore her husband. He seems to think DNA evidence that proves the guy is guilty beyond a reasonable doubt is reason enough to doubt this guy isn't the man. Yeah, and you can make scotch outside of Scotland.
"BTK Is Arrested"

Friday, February 25, 2005

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

The new blogroll is up. All I did was add new links and I didn't move anyone around, yet. If you didn't make it in, it's all your fault for not commenting. Everyone who asked made it in, just not necessarily where you expected to be.
If you haven't left a comment saying you want to be on my blogroll, do it by tomorrow evening because I have time to update then. I know there are a few of you out there who have posted comments in the past but I have not linked to your blog yet.

Fun is a doctor's appointment. I know many of you have been through my saga about the chest pains and the exercise program and weight loss that followed. Today had a different purpose. You see, I've been sunburnt badly twice, and I have many moles. There was one particular mole that started growing, changed color (or colour for John H.), and felt differently from my other moles. When the word melanoma keeps dancing through your head, you tend to take action. Anyway, my doctor doesn't think the mole is cancerous (melanoma or otherwise), but, since it was growing and changing, he went ahead and took it off. Did you know doctors have special scissors to do just that? Did you know that, if the area removed is small enough, that the doctors just electrocute the area to stop the bleeding? All in all, it was a fun day. I get to know if the mole was anything to worry about in a week.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

For those looking for some good news in these dark times, here is something good that is going on. I was talking to someone about this, and I misquoted some numbers, but it is still good to see somewhere where we went from no Lutherans to 10,000 Lutherans even though there was a civil war and an uncooperative Islamic government. Continue to pray for our brothers and sisters in Sudan and may God continue to bless them.
I wanted to speak about something heady and theological tonight, but I just don't have the brainpower to pull it off tonight. 24 has a tendency to do that to you. I know many of you are now addicted because of my influence. Admit it: nuclear plants melting down are exciting.

My blogroll is due for a major update, so if you are Lutheran, read this blog, and want to be included, let me know. If you're not Lutheran, read this blog, and wish to be included, you might be out of luck. Anyway, if you want to be part of the latest update, leave a comment on this post and I'll make sure to link to you.

I should revive my discussion as to music and what it means in the Church; that, and remind everyone that the song Brothers and Sisters in Christ sounds like a circus song when played on the organ.

If you want to email me for some silly reason (people occasionally do, believe it or not), email me at daniel dot sellers at gmail dot com. Simple, right?

Sunday, February 20, 2005

I need to make sure to Credit Alice Cooper for the last song on my last post as well.

Saturday, February 19, 2005

First, IntolerantElle has a post on the way Terry Schiavo has been treated by her "husband". Go and be disgusted by this man.

Secondly, Rev. McCain gives us a link to herchurch. How is this for paganism.


Our Mother who is within us
we celebrate your many names.
Your wisdom come
your will be done
unfolding from the depths within us.
Each day you give us all that we need.
You remind us of our limits
and we let go.
You support us in our power
and we act with courage.
For you are the dwelling place within us
the empowerment around us
and the celebration among us
now and for ever. Amen


Now, it is well know how much respect I have for the ELCA. She seems to either lurching towards the liberalism of American "evangelicalism" (remember me taking the hatchet to Norma's church).

This brings me to another point that I forgot about. Norma did accuse me of hating her synod. I do. I hate much of my own synod as well. While the ELCA should really be acronymed ****, the LCMS deserves the acronym **M*. Anyway, that's besides the point.

As a rotten traditionalist, payers like the one above make me cringe. I almost started saying "Hail Mary, full of grace..." after reading this thing. Then, you come upon this gem:


God to me
Is my dark-haired mother,
Stroking my forehead
As she lullabies me to sleep.
My Mother is the earth
And all her creatures?
The web that brings us into relationship
With one another.
God to me
Is the Mother who spills
Her essence into the world,
Creating and calling us to create
From the wombs of our being.
God to me
Is the Mother
whose voice was drowned out
For most of history,
And yet,
I find Her in my deepest wisdom.
Alone, I feel Her touch
Upon my brow,
Mothering me still,
Mothering us all.
written by Lana Dalberg Landaverde, 2004


Now, you should know who wrote this thing because we all need to know who to blame. God cannot be our Father because, well, that's so patriarchal men are horrible and have run this world for far too long. Yep. Men are evil. Goddesses are good. We should worship god the mother because it puts us back into touch with out pagan roots. We're gonna subjectively decide what verses we want to believe, no matter how much evidence there is to the contrary. We're gonna descend into the abyss.

Alice Cooper has an answer:

We must complete the trip
Try not to lose your grip
No sight of solid ground
and never look straight down
Deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper
your claustrophobic brain
Sucking you down the drain
The walls are closing in
The air is getting thin
The elevator broke
It went right through the floor
It left a burning hole
Down and down and down we go
We're in a deadly spin
Hating this spin we're in
We're helpless
Panic grows
Down and down and down we go
Daylight is at an end
You'll never see again
You'll soon embrace the sight
This cold eternal light


Even better is this song of warning:

I'm in control
I got a bulletproof soul
And I'm full of self-esteem
I invented myself with no one's help
I'm a prototype supreme
I sit on my private throne
And run my lifestyle all alone
Me, myself and I agree
We don't need nobobdy else
I never learned to bow, bend or crawl
To any known authority
I really want to build my statue tall
That's all
I'm just trying to be God
I only wanna be God
I just wanna be God
Why can't I be God
I got no time to take advice
I want to gamble with my eternity
With loaded dice
I don't need a preacher in my face
When I'm the omnipresent ruler of the human race
Ain't gonna
Spend my life being no one's fool
I was born to rock and I was born to rule
But if I'm wrong on judgement day
I'm royally screwed with hell to pay
I never learned to bow, bend or crawl
To any known authority
I really want to build my statue tall
That's all
I'm just trying to be God
I only wanna be God
I just wanna be God
Why can't I be God
I'm just trying to be God
I only wanna be God
I just wanna be God
Why can't I be God
I'm just trying to be God
I only wanna be God
I just wanna be God
Why can't I be God


In reality, the above song describes everything wrong with this type of thinking. Unitarian in thought and Universalist in appeal, this the worst Christianity has to offer. All this shows is that the sin that dominates our lives can overrun us until we worship at the altar of Satan rather than the altar of God. Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy, Lord have mercy.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

In the class my pastor teaches on Sundays, we have been learing about the Old Testament. I was reminded of this song I sang as a Boy Scout in Utah called Sunday School.

Chorus:Young folks, old folks, everybody come
Come to the Sunday School, and have a lot of fun
Please check your chewing gum and raizors at the door
And we'll tell you Bible stories that you've never heard before

The world was made in six days and finished on the seventh
According to the contract it should have been the eleventh
But the painter wouldn't paint and the worker wouldn't work
So the cheapest thing to do was fill it up with dirt

The Lord made the ocean and then He made the sky
Then He made the moon and hung it out to dry
Then He made the stars out of whites of people's eyes
And when He had 'em finished He just tacked 'em in the skies

The Lord made Satan and Satan made sin
The Lord made a cubby-hole to put Satan in
Satan got huffy and he said he wouldn't stay
So he's been a little Devil ever since that day

Adam was the first man that ever was invented
He lived all his life and never was contented
He was made of clay in the days gone by
And hung on a fence in the sun to dry

Adam was a gardener and Eve was his spouse
They got the sack for stealing fruit and took to keeping house
They lived a very quiet life and peaceful in the main
'Til Eve had a baby and they started raising Cain

Cain raised potatoes and he peddled them in town
Abel called him "Hayseed" every time he came around
Cain laid a stick of wood on brother Abel's head,
And when he took the stick away he found poor Abel dead

Noah was a carpenter who stumbled in the dark
He picked up a hammer and built himself an ark
In came the animals, two by two
All except for the worms, and they came in the apples too

Noah was the keeper of the Asiatic Zoo
He built an ocean liner when he hadn't much to do
One day he got excited when the sky was getting dark
So he gathered all the animals and put them in the ark

Noah was a mariner who sailed around the sea
With half a dozen relatives and a big menagerie
He failed the first season when it rained for forty days
For in that kind of weather no circus ever pays

For forty days and forty nights it rained and blew
The water covered up the land and all the mountains too
When Noah got to wondering just where he was at
The old ark ran aground on top of Ararat

Abraham the prophet prayed to have a son
So the Lord sent Isaac as the chosen one
Isaac begat Jacob, known as Israel
Jacob's sons were twelve tribes, so the Bible tells

Lot's wife was a woman who was mighty curious
If she wasn't in the know, she'd always raise a fuss
One day while leaving town, her curiosity made her halt
When she turned to look she turned into a block of salt

Esau was a cowboy of the wild and woolly make,
Half the farm belonged to him and half belonged to Jake
Now Esau thought his title to the farm was none to clear,
So he sold it out to Jakey for a sandwich and a beer.

Joseph was a shepherd lad, so Bible stories tell us
His father gave him such a coat, it made his brothers jealous
They sold him into Egypt for a small consideration
Where he made a major fortune on a grain speculation

Pharaoh had a daughter, she had a winsome smile
She found the infant Moses a-floating in the Nile
She took him to her father, said "I've found him on the shore"
Pharaoh winked his eye and said "I've heard that tale before"

Moses was a Yiddish lad, went sailing in a skiff
Along came Pharaoh's daughter, and she gave the lad a lift
She took him to the palace and she fed him something grand,
So he led the whole caboodle out into the promised land

Pharaoh was a mighty king, the Kaiser of his day
He nagged the sons of Israel until they ran away
When he tried to follow them across the bounding main,
His entire army died, with water on the brain

Moses was a prophet sent to Israel
He would lead them to the promised land to dwell
They were slow to follow, or so it appears
They were in the wilderness for forty years

Balaam was a prophet who went out to curse the band
Of Israelitish children who had come to claim the land
But on his way to do this deed, his little donkey balked
And when he kicked her in the slats, she looked at him and talked

Samson was a strong man of Jeffrey Johnson's School
Had the strength of a thousand men and the jawbone of a mule
Along came Delilah, cut off his curly locks
So the only strength that Samson had was in his dirty socks

Ruth was a gleaner and Naomi was her ma
They went into the fields to gather in the straw
Boaz came along and asked Ruth if she'd be his wife
She married him for his money and they lived a happy life

Samuel was a prophet chosen as a boy
Hannah promised God her son would serve with joy
In the tabernacle, Samuel heard his name;
He was called by God and answered "Here I am!"

David was a shepherd lad, a fearless little chap
Along came Goliath, just a looking for a scrap
David hadn't any sword, he used a sling instead
He slung rocks at Goliath and the giant fell down dead

David played the lyre and he played it rather sweet
He used to play before King Saul, the while the king would eat
But the king was fond of ragtime, which David couldn't play
So the king bought a phonograph, and sent poor Dave away

King David and King Solomon lived very merry lives
With many, many lady friends and many, many wives
When old age came upon them with all its many qualms
King Solomon wrote the Proverbs and King David wrote the Psalms

Solomon was a wise man, he had a lot of cash
Queen of Sheba came along and Solly made a mash
I guess he thought that royalty was rather underpaid
For he took to writing proverbs though he was a king by trade

Ahab had a lovely wife, whose name was Jezebel
While looking out the window, to the dogs below she fell
"She's gone to the dogs", the people told the king
Ahab said he never heard of such a dog-gone thing

Elijah was a prophet who attended county fairs
He advertised his business with a troop of dancing bears
He sold assorted prophecies, and every afternoon,
He ascended up to Heaven in a patent fire balloon

Jonah was an emigrant, so goes this Bible tale
He booked a steerage passage on a transatlantic whale
Jonah in the belly of the whale felt quite compressed
So he pushed a little button and the whale did the rest

Daniel was a courtier who wouldn't mind the king
The king said he couldn't stand for any such a thing
He chucked him in a manhole with lions down beneath
But Daniel was a dentist and he pulled the lions' teeth

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego,
Disobeyed the king, and so they had to go
He threw them in a furnace, to burn 'em up like chaff,
But they wore asbestos BVD's and gave the king a laugh

Salome was a chorus girl who danced the hoochie kootch
She caused quite a scandal 'cause she didn't wear too "mooch"
The king said "Salome, we will have no scandal here"
Salome said, "The devil!" and she kicked the chandelier

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

My White Rapper Who Thinks He Is Black is G-Unit Rapper Style.
Take The Silly White Guy Who Thinks He Is Actually A Black Gangsta' Rapper But Is Actually Trippin' Since He Is A White Fo'. today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

Why do Kansas drivers suck? Every day, I go to work and every day, I see some driver that doesn't know what he is doing trying to get onto the freeway. Oh, what do these Kansas drivers do? They stop where the onramp becomes the acceleration lane. Anybody with half a brain knows you accelerate and merge, even if no one lets you in. If you have to, you drive on the shoulder or muscle your way in, but you never stop. If you stop, you make merging about 20 times more difficult. Kansans love to stop, however. The State of Kansas should take down the stupid "Yield" signs at the end of the onramps so idiots who take the signs literally will quit stopping and making my commute a living hell. If I can, I'll sometimes drive around the offender and merge. I learned how to drive on freeways in California, and nitwits in Kansas wouldn't survive one minute in California. They would get rear-ended trying to get onto the freeway because they would slow down in the acceleration lane. Kansas drivers suck.

Monday, February 14, 2005

Ron now has his Valentine's Day post up. As much as I thought I knew what he would say, I didn't. I admit it. Dreadful, no. I just enjoy the coulorful way he puts things (Who should "get it on" in the Lutheran Blogsphere). As much as he doesn't like sports, you have to admit there is just a small pinch of jock in him. He thinks I should "get it on" with Elle. You'll just have to ask Elle about this.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

You are Sir Bedevere! Wise and creative, you are able to counsel others as well as come up with some really ingenious plans of attack...sort of.
You are Sir Bedevere! Wise and creative, you are
able to counsel others as well as come up with
some really ingenious plans of attack...sort
of.


Which Monty Python & the Holy Grail Character are you REALLY?
brought to you by Quizilla

How evil are you?
I would like to post more, but there are just too many things I would like to do besides posting on my blog. For instance, I'm still working my way through all the features on LoTR:ROTK. Heck, I haven't even seen everything on the other two movies. I also enjoy reading what everyone else has to say. Often, I have an idea for a post, but someone else posts something about it before I get to it. What can I say: I'm lazy that way.

Speaking of lazy, the Terrible Swede is going to unleash his Valentine's Day attack upon me. He seems to think I have no idea what he's going to say . The thing is, I know exactly what he will say and he is clueless as to how I'm going to counter it. He should know better. Would I even think about daring him if I didn't think I could overcome? I know what he's holding. Hey Ron, I know you don't think I have an ace up my sleeve and I'm holding four aces already, but I am. All I am doing now is taunting you like the Frenchmen taunted King Arthur, and your attack shall be just as successful. I fart in your general direction.

In case you don't know, Ron actually is my best friend. We go watch Kung Fu movies and drink. He drinks beer, now, and I drink Scotch or bourbon.

Saturday, February 12, 2005

The Terrible Swede wants to do something mean to me for Valentine's day. I'm alright with that. I should just remind him that people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. I triple-dog dare you. Just remember, I have ammo of my own.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Because I have many readers who were not around when I posted on Ash Wednesday one year ago, here is that post. Included is all the readings for this day from the one-year series, the prayer, and a small devotion. May it be beneficial to all of you who were not around to enjoy it the first time.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Since it is Fat Tuesday (an ironic name for someone who has lost 37 pounds), I thought I might end our celebration of Christmas by posting stupid stories.

Well, at Least He Won't Be Fathering More Fans...

This is the type of story that could earn a Darwin award without even a death involved. It's also the type of story that makes us men cross our legs...

Budding Jordan cyber love ends in divorce

West Hollywood May Ban Cosmetic Surgery for Pets

This will be a stupid law in, say, 100 years.

Cuba, Land of Long Cigars, Bans Smoking in Public

Ohio Man Accused of Stealing House

And finally,

Fla. Man Charged With Biting Head Off Bird

I can't miss this one.

Worms on a Hook Don't Suffer?

Sunday, February 06, 2005

7:51: New thread because the other one is getting too big to update in a regular fashion. It's getting difficult. Kickoff Pats. Good return to the Eagles 35.

7:53: Nice Bud commercial. Napster? OK.

7:55: 1st and 10. Pass. Catch T.O. 10 yards. 1st down. Run up the middle. Gain of 1.

7:56: Blitz. McNabb sacked. Good D. 3rd and 15. Long throw down the middle. Incomplete. Eagles punt. Flag on the return. Brown to the Eagles 40. Holding. Wipes out 45 yard return.

7:58: Dumb easy button commercial. Blogger is getting slow. Good cat commercial. More chimps. Chimps are always funny.

8:00: 1st and 10: Run right. gain of 6 to the 14. 2nd and 4. Blitz. Brady hit. Ball in the air. Incomplete could have been picked off. 3rd and 4. Blitz. Throws long. Incomplete. Punt.

8:03: Punt. Flag. Westbrook loses the ball. Goes out of bounds. Holding. Eagles at their 26.

8:04: War of the World trailer. New ED commercial. Warning about the 4 hour erection. Nice.

8:05: 1st and 10. Pass middle. Gain of 15. 1st and 10. Pass to T.O. gain of 8.

8:07: 2nd and 2. Run left. Gain of 5. 1st down. Blitz. Pass left. Caught. 1st down. Pass right to T.O. Gain of 6. 2nd and 4. Run up the middle. Gain of 5. 1st down.

8:09: Pass. Ball tipped. Incomplete. 2nd and 10. NE 21. Blitz. Pass left. Complete. Gain of 7. 3rd and 3. Blitz. Pass behind his receiver. Catch 1st down.

8:11 1st and goal. Blitz. throw over the middle. TOUCHDOWN EAGLES! Great drive by the Eagles. Extra Point good. 14-14.

8:13. More Honda truck commercials. Not funny. Stupid Verizon commercial. Kind of funny. Not all that great.

8:15: Kickoff. Line drive. Out to the 34. 1st down. 5 wideouts. Flag. False start. Wide receiver screen. Gain of 4. Pinkston out with cramps. 2nd and 11. Screen right. Gain of 14. 1st down.

8:18: Run. Middle. Gain of 3. 2nd and 7. Pass. Caught for 5. 3rd and 2. Timeout Eagles.

8:20: Blogger running slow. 3rd and 2 NE. Blitz. Run left. Gain of 7. 1st down. Eagles blitz. Run right. Gain of 8. 2nd and 2. End of 3rd quarter. 14-14.

8:22: Boring Lexus commercial. Dumb Alltel context.

8:24: 2nd and 2 Pats. Run. Middle. Marked at the 16. 1st down. Shotgun. Screen right. Gain of 14. 1st and goal from the 2. Run. Middle. TOUCHDOWN PATRIOTS! Extra point good. 21-14.

8:26: Dumb Prius commercial.

8:29: Kickoff. Taken to the 22. 1st and 10 Philly. Play action. Fires down the middle. Incomplete.

8:30: Run right. Dropped for a loss of 6. 3rd and 16. Blitz. Long throw left. Incomplete. Forced to punt. Returned to the Eagles 47.

8:32: Boring Bud commercial. Mastercard commercial. Cute.

8:34: Blogger getting a little fatser. Run middle. Stuffed for a loss of 3. Play action. Down the middle. Awesome catch. Gain of 19.

8:35: 1st and 10. Flag for roughing the passer. Add 15. Ball on 16. Dillon right. Gain of 7. 2nd and 3. Blitz. Run middle. bounces right. Gain of 5. 1st down. Run left. Gets nothing.

8:38: 2nd and goal. Timeout because of cramps.

8:39: Dumb commerical. Crazty Designated driver commercial. More chimps. Amusing.

8:41: New Englad is just running up the Eagle's Defense. 2nd and goal. Philly shows blitz. Throws. Pass incomplete. 2rd and goal. Run right. Nothing. Field goal attempt. 22 yards. Good. 24-14 Pats.

8:45: Kickoff Pats. Returned to the 26. 1st and 10. Run middle. Gain of 2. 2nd and 8. Blitz. Caught by T.O. To the Pats 37. 1st down.

8:47: Throw middle. Thrown high. Intercepted by Teddy Brewski. Hail of boos by Eagle fans. Threw a duck. Bad throw. 1st down Pats. Run middle. Gain of 3. 2nd and 7. Draw middle, bunced left. Gain of 2.

8:49: 3rd and 5. Pressure. Brady throws it away. 4th down. Punt. Fair catch. 1st and 10.

8:51: 1st down on their 21. Short pass right. Gain of 3. 2nd and 7. Quick throw. Ruled incomplete. Challenged. Ruling should be overturned. It is overturned.

8:53: 3rd and 2. Short pass. Good for 5. 1st down. Short pass. Gain of 2. Didn't get out of bounds. Errant throw. 2nd and 8. Bad throw by McNabb. Incomplete.

8:57: 3rd and 8: Blitz. Pass is caught. Good for 10. 1st and 10 from the Eagles 46. Play action McNabb almost sacked. Pass incomplete. Thrown short. 2nd and 10. Fumbled snap. 3rd and 10. Eagles need to hurry up. Blitz. Caught over the middle. 11 yards. 1st and 10.

8:59. 1st and 10. Bad throw. Incomplete to Westbrook. Brewski injured.

9:00: He walks off. 2nd and 10. Short pass complete. 1st and 10. 2 minute warning.

9:01: Trailer. Sahara. So-so. P-Diddi Pepsi commercial. They're out of commercials.

9:03: 1st and 10. New England 31. Pass incomplete. 2nd and 10. T.O. has 9 catches for over 100 yards. Shotgun. Throw down the middle. TOUCHDOWN EAGLES! Lewis caught the pass. Extra point good.

9:05: 24-21. Onside kick expected. Eagles only have 2 timeouts left.

9:06: New England recovers the onside kick. Marked at the Eagles 41. 1st and 10. Timeout New England.

9:08: Run left. Gain of 2. Timeout Eagles.

9:10: Run middle. Gain of 3. Timeout Eagles.

9:11: 4 wideouts. Blitz. No gain. 4th down. Punt. Timeout Pats.

9:13: Punt. Downed at the 4. 1st and 10. 46 second. They gotta throw. Threw short. Gain of 1. Clock runs. McNabb throws middle. Incomplete. 17 seconds. 3rd and 10. Pass middle. Interception Hitman. 9 seconds left.

9:16: That's it. New England 24, Philly 21.

Excellent game. It went down to the last minuite. Philly's offense broke down at the end. As ugly as the first half was, the second half was great. Good Game. I'll see you at Daytona. Why not?

Commercialwise, they just were not all that funny. Bud Light was consistent, but, otherwise, it was extremely hit and miss. Harrison proved Freddy Mitchel was a joke and New England once again showed that a team with a beatten-down secondary can still win. What a game.
5:30: Cadets from the acadamies singing the National Anthem. A classy way to go. Coin toss is next.

5:36: Blogger is acting up this might not work.

5:37: Kickoff imminent. Eagles get the ball.

5:38: Good return by the Eagles. Ball on their 38.

5:39: Good D by the Pats. Will T.O. be a factor?

5:40: T.O. catches his first pass of the night.

5:41: McNabb sacked, loses ball. Good play by the Pats D.

5:44: Eagles challenging the call. Funny Bud Light commercial. Bad contact commercial. Movie trailer. Blahhh. Looks like the call will be reversed. McNabb still sacked. Fouth Down. Eagles get to punt.

5:45: Good punt. Brown did as much as he could with it. Pats 28.

5:46: Blitz. Pats pick it up. Good pass by Brady.

5:47: 1st Penalty by the pats. False start 1st and 15. Good run by Dillon.

5:48: Eagles read screen pass. Stop it after a gain of 2 yards. Eagles are blitzing like there's no tomorow. Pass incomplete.

5:49: Pats punt. Good coffin corner punt. Eagles from the 7.

5:50: Funny Diet Pepsi commercial. Silly Buble gum commercial. Tecno sucks. Camera commercial sucks.

5:51: This is fun. Run stuffed. Lost two yards.

5:52: T.O. catches the ball. Gain of 9. Looks good.

5:53: Run stuffed for a yard. Eagles punt. Troy Brown fair catches. 52 Yards.

5:54: Vin Diesil. With kids? Give me a break. Good FedEx commercial. Bud light commercial: A winner.

5:56: Dillon gains 3 on a run right. 2nd and 7. 2nd false start. O-line needs to calm down. Eagles blitz drawing them off.

5:57: Empty bacfield. Quick pass. Gain of 8. 3rd and 4. Blitz. Gained 2 yards on the pass. Pats have to punt.

5:58: Westbrook, 10 yards. Almost broke the punt return.

5:59: Stupid Volvo commercial. Good Diet Papsi commercial. Good Godaddy.com commercial.

6:02: Eagles ball. Bad, underthrown pass by McNabb. T.O. looks good, so far. Nice screen pass. Bad missed tackle by Troy Brown. 1st down Eagles. Run stuffed. Gain of 2.

6:03: McNabb overtrows his receiver. 3rd and long.

6:04: Pass caught. 1st down Eagles. Generous spot. Swing pass. Picks up 3.

6:05: Play action. Missed the receiver. McNabb's accuracy off.

6:06: Resetting play clock. 3rd and 7. T.O open. Late flag. Gains 30 yards. T.O. looks good. Late hit. Add 10 more to that.

6:07: McNabb sacked. Loss of 16. 2nd and goal from the pats 24. Flag. Interception. Illegal contact on the Pats. Automatic 1st down.

6:10: 1st down from the 19. Another good Bud Light commercial. Trailer for remake of "The Longest Yard." Good. McDonald's commercial sucks.

6:12: Huge penalty. McNabb intercepted by the Hitman. Harrison looks like he's hurt. McNabb's accuracy questionable.

6:17: Harrison walked off. Pats backed up. Draw play. Nice gain. Brady overthrows his man. 3rd and 3. Run stopped. 4th and 3. Punting. Line drive punt. On Pats 45.

6:19: Long throw. Almost intercepted. 2nd and 10. McNabb, play action. Pats D saw the screen. McNabb taken down by the Hitman. 3rd and 11. Pass. FUMBLE! Recovered by the Pats.

6:21: Pats 37. Pass. Receiver slipped. 2nd and 10. Run. Edge, gain of 4. End of 1st Quarter. 0-0. Good defensive game so far.

6:22: Nice rugby commercial. Not all that funny, though. OOO. New Honda truck.

6:25: Bardy sacked by Burgess. 4th down. Pats have to punt. Fair catch at the Eagles 20.

6:27: 1st and 10. Run by Westbrook. Gain of 2. 2nd and 8.

6:28: Run. Gain of 1. Both tems playing well on D. McNabbv pass. Complete. 1st down Eagles.

6:29: 1st and 10: Run outside. Gain of 5. 2nd and 5: Blitz. Pass. Caught at the Pats 17. Nice pass. Good job by the receiver to adjust. Run outside. Gain of 10.

6:31: 1st and goal. Run. No gain.

6:32: Flag against Eagles. Pass incomplete. Illegal Formation. Penalty declined. 3rd and goal. Blitz. McNabb with time. Pass over the middle. Complete. TOUCHDOWN EAGLES! Extra point good. 7-0 Eagles.

6:34: Good Bud commercial. Funny Lays commercial. Stupid Subway commercial.

6:37: Kickoff to Pats 22. Flag. Holding Back 'em up.

6:38: Pepsi. Not funny I-tunes. "Be Cool" trailer good. Mama's Boy commercial really good.

6:39: Screen pass. Dillon. Gain of 13. !st and 10:PScreen to Dillin. Gain of 15. 1st down.

6:40: Run. Gain of 8. 2nd and 2. Run Right, Gain of 5 by Kevin Falk. 1st and 10. Quick trow. Fumble. Eagle's ball. Challenge by NE.

6:41: Dumb Pepsi commercial. Car commercial. New Caddy. ZZZZZ.

6:45: Pats win challenge. 1st and 10. Run. Great run by Dillon. Should have been stuffed at the line. Bounces right. Gains 25. 1st and goal.Quick pass. Gain of 2.

6:47: 2nd and goal. Blitz comming. Loses ball on the play action. Ball belongs to the Eagles. Eagles 1st and 10: Run. Loses 1 yard.

6:49: 2nd and 11. Quick pass incomplete. 3rd and long. Bitz. McNabb scrambles. Pass incomplete. Punt. Ugly punt. 29 yard punt. Good field position for NE.

6:51: Good job site commercial. Taco Bell comercial. Seen it before. Good Bud Light commercial.

6:53: 1st and 10 Pats. Pass. Gain of 7. 2nd and 3. Eagles rush. Brady pass incomplete. 3rd and 3. Pass complete. Gain of 5. 1st down.

6:55: 1st and 10. Pass. Gain of 4. Catch by Branch. Offense looking better. 2nd and 6. 5 wideout. Pass over the middle. Nice catch by Brown. First down. @ minute Warning.

6:56: Batman trailer. Looks interesting. Nice stone commercial. Like Dennis Rodman. Good Amber Boch commercial. Pats on the Eagles 7. 1st and goal. Run left Stretch play. 3 yards.

7:00: 2nd andd goalBrady throws. TOUCHDOWN PATRIOTS! Brady to Givens. Extra Point good. 7-7.

7:01: Givens does the "Eagle." Pats about to kickoff.

7:02: Kicoff. Good return. Penalty flag. To the Eagles 41. Holding. Wilson injured on the kick.

7:04: Wilson off. Not good. 1st and 10. Run. Blitz. Loss of 3. Pats take timeout. 2nd and 13.

7:06: Whose that with Jeff Gordon. 2nd and 13. Pass. Pick up of 10. 3rd and 3. Pass complete to the Philly 40.

7:08: Timeout Philly. 10 Seconds left. 1st and 10 from their 40. McNabb almost saced. Pass incomplete.

7:09: Timeout NE. 2nd and 10. Expect a Hail Mary. (Duh) McNabb shaken up?

7:10: Draw play. Tackled. 7-7. Taking Halftime off. Be back in a bit with a little commentary.

7:14: Liveblogging.org gave me a link. I'm sending a little love to them.

7:19: Excellent defensive game. Both teams are in constant blitz mode. Eagles need to get their running game going. It's going the way I thought: a close, defensive game. Pats D looks good. Eagles D looks good. I still think the NE kicker is what will put them over.

7:20: Great NFL Network commercial. That was funny. Tomorow, we're all undefeated. Why Paul McCartney? I guess there's no chance for a boob to pop out. Bummer.

7:35: Halfitime show went well. No "wardrobe malfunctions." I enjoyed Live and Let Die. I admit I'm more used to the GnR version. Pats get the ball first in the 2nd half.

7:40: Eagles kicking off soon.

7:41: Lots of penalties. Sloppy play by the offensives. Kickoff. Bounces around. 17 yard return.

7:42: 1st and 10. Blitz. Pass. Gain of 8. 2nd and 2. Toss left. Loss of 4. 3rd and 6.

7:44: Blitz. Pick it up. Brady trows up the middle. Complete. 27 yards. 1st down. Pass. Incomplete. Hits receiver in the back.

7:45: 2nd and 10. Pass incomplete. 3rd and 10. Brady. Pass over the middle. Gain of 16. 1st and 10.

7:48: 1st and 10. Run right. Stuffed for no gain. 2nd and 10. Blitz. Brady throws. Branch catches. On the Philly 2. 1st down. Play action. Vrables catches the ball. Flags down. Holding, defense. TOUCHDOWN PATRIOTS! Extra point good. 14-7 Eagles.

7:49: Stupid camera commercial. I hate techno. Nice Tabasco sauce commercial. Another tailer.
Here we are, the first post. I'll just keep updating this post until the game is over. I'm happy, yet sad. I'll miss football for the next year. Excuse my typos from here on out.

Introductions are begining. They always rock.

5:16: Pats being introduced with the song "Crazy Train."

5:19: Eagles being intoduced with the song "Thunderstruck." Nothing like some AC?DC to get you going.

5:20: Ford commercial: funny.
Alright, here's what I think. The Pats on a last-second field goal.

I'm now all set to liveblog this thing. I'll comment on commercials, give my extremely weak analysis of the game, and, in general, bore you to death. My thoughts on pregame? A good waste of time. I'm wondering if someone who types like I type should even try this.

Friday, February 04, 2005

I have so many ideas about what I can blog about that I don't know where to start. Eason Jordan, Ward Churchill, the Superbowl, my life, etc. I could go on and on about all thos things, but I found something that must supercede them all: Dave Barry's Guide to Guys: The Movie.

The three scenes you can download are so true. Plus, anything with John Cleese in it should be great!

Now that that's done, the Patriots will win the Superbowl. Bill Belickik will confuse McNabb and the Pats have enough firepower and diversity offensively to overcome the Philadelphia D.

I'm thinking of liveblogging the Super Bowl, just for grins and giggles.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Arthur: Old Woman!

The peasant turns around, revealing that he is in fact a man.

Man: Man!
Arthur: Man, sorry.... What knight lives in that castle over there?
Man: I'm thirty-seven!
Arthur: (suprised) What?
Man: I'm thirty-seven! I'm not old--
Arthur: Well I can't just call you "man"...
Man: Well you could say "Dennis"--
Arthur: I didn't know you were called Dennis!
Man: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?!
Arthur: I did say sorry about the "old woman", but from behind, you looked--
Man: Well I object to your...you automatically treat me like an inferior!
Arthur: Well I *am* king...
Man: Oh, king, eh, very nice. And 'ow'd you get that, eh?
(he reaches his destination and stops, dropping the cart)
By exploiting the workers! By 'angin' on to outdated imperialist dogma
which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.
If there's ever going to be any progress,--
Woman: Dennis! There's some lovely filth down 'ere!
(noticing Arthur) Oh! 'Ow'd'ja do?
Arthur: How do you do, good lady. I am Arthur, king of the Britons. Whose
castle is that?
Woman: King of the 'oo?
Arthur: King of the Britons.
Woman: 'Oo are the Britons?
Arthur: Well we all are! We are all Britons! And I am your king.
Woman: I didn't know we 'ad a king! I thought we were autonomous collective.
Man: (mad) You're fooling yourself! We're living in a dictatorship! A
self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--
Woman: There you go, bringing class into it again...
Man: That's what it's all about! If only people would--
Arthur: Please, *please*, good people, I am in haste! WHO lives in that
castle?
Woman: No one lives there.
Arthur: Then who is your lord?
Woman: We don't have a lord!
Arthur: (spurised) What??
Man: I *told* you! We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune! We're taking
turns to act as a sort of executive-officer-for-the-week--
Arthur: (uninterested) Yes...
Man: But all the decisions *of* that officer 'ave to be ratified at a
special bi-weekly meeting--
Arthur: (perturbed) Yes I see!
Man: By a simple majority, in the case of purely internal affairs--
Arthur: (mad) Be quiet!
Man: But by a two-thirds majority, in the case of more major--
Arthur: (very angry) BE QUIET! I *order* you to be quiet!
Woman: "Order", eh, 'oo does 'e think 'e is?
Arthur: I am your king!
Woman: Well I didn't vote for you!
Arthur: You don't vote for kings!
Woman: Well 'ow'd you become king then?
(holy music up)
Arthur: The Lady of the Lake-- her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite,
held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by
divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why
I am your king!
Man: (laughingly) Listen: Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords
is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power
derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some... farcical
aquatic ceremony!
Arthur: (yelling) BE QUIET!
Man: You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some
watery tart threw a sword at you!!
Arthur: (coming forward and grabbing the man) Shut *UP*!
Man: I mean, if I went 'round, saying I was an emperor, just because some
moistened bink had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
Arthur: (throwing the man around) Shut up, will you, SHUT UP!
Man: Aha! Now we see the violence inherent in the system!
Arthur: SHUT UP!
Man: (yelling to all the other workers) Come and see the violence inherent
in the system! HELP, HELP, I'M BEING REPRESSED!
Arthur: (letting go and walking away) Bloody PEASANT!
Man: Oh, what a giveaway! Did'j'hear that, did'j'hear that, eh? That's
what I'm all about! Did you see 'im repressing me? You saw it,
didn't you?!


With this quote, I introduce the newest Monty Python named blog: Dennis the Peasant (Help! Help! I'm being repressed!)

The Ever-Changing Selection is now Swiftly and with Style. Now if he'll only return the favor and send a link my way.

While all the above are nice, the real reason for posting is to tell you, my readers, that today royally sucked. I woke up late, I arrived late to work and, to top it all off, I lost about two and a half hours worth of work because the !@#$%^& network doesn't know how to save. I left work about ready to choke someone.

The Benedryl is kicking in so it's time for me to go to bed.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Islamic Hostage Barbie

OBL's Capture!

Zarqawi quits al Qaeda, joins C.O.B.R.A.

Oh NOOO!!!

Plastic Doll taken Hostage!

Are we all starting to see how ridiculous that picture was in the first place?

I've purposely avoided posting too much on national politics lately because I've burnt out on it for now. Rather, I want to what you think about the question that is on everybody's mind: will T.O. play? Will Rodney "the Hitman" Harrison remove Freddy Mitchel's dome? How much of his Superbowl paycheck will the league be keeping because of the decapitation? SHOW ME YOUR LIGHTNING BOLT!