Avast! This here is Pirate Jake the Dagger, yes, that Pirate Jake. Arrr! I stabbed so many land lubbers in the back that me mateys named me the dagger. There are two things me mateys and me hate: bilge rats and land lubbers. Arrrr! Let me get some grog from me bunghole. Arrr! If you don't know what a bunghole is matey, I'll make ye walk the plank.