Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Four days. Rather than the normal two day event that epitomizes most viewings/funerals, I went through each ceremony except the committal twice. Two viewings and two funerals. Double the pleasure, double the fun. I actually think this extended cycle helped, however. There were a lot of people who went to the first viewing, while not so many came to the second. It gave me time to be alone and pray in front of his body. It gave me time to vent, cry, and release a lot of the sadness I felt. I still feel sad, and I believe I will mourn him for quite a while. He was not only my uncle, but my Godfather and a man who helped me out more times than I can count and I will never be able to repay the kindness he has shown to me over all this time.

One of the things that gets said as comfort to us is that he is with his Lord now, and he rests in peace. That is true in one sense, but the fact our souls should have never been ripped away from our bodies in the first place tells us this is an uneasy peace. It is peace, but an incomplete peace that will only be soothed by the Lord returning again and restoring what should have never been torn. Let us never forget the fact that Christ is the resurrection and that, not heaven, will be our ultimate joy.

I almost lost it a couple times yesterday. The Nunc Dimittus got to me, as did the Proper Preface (the "all the company of heaven" part really got to me). It was a tough first service.

This has been a tough week. I am glad I am slowly but surely crawling out of the funk. I thank God for the wonderful family I have.

No comments: