Wednesday, December 21, 2005

If you don't remember what old school me is like, you might not want to read this post below. If you do remember what I was like, read on. It's time for a little old school sarcasm, satire, and snobbery.

Router: You want all LCMS churches to have the same liturgical style? I'm confessional as well, but WHY would you want that?

Falsely are our churches accused of abolishing the Mass; for the Mass is retained among us, and celebrated with the highest reverence.--Augsburg Confession, Article XXIV, Bente and Dau

4. Exclusive use of doctrinally pure agenda, hymnbooks, and catechisms
in church and school.--LCMS Constitution, Article VI, Conditions of Membership

Lord forbid I actually want us to uphold the documents people sign. I mean, please. Don't we know by now that signatures aren't worth the pieces of paper we wipe with.

This is the stuff we all, one way or another, signed on to. It may be through your congregation or some of my readers signed the dotted lines themselves. If you don't like what you signed, quit saying your confessional or even Lutheran.

Do you expect our inner city churches to be the same liturgically as our rural churches? C'mon. I'm high church too, but you also must be relevant to the community. Jeezers!

Hmm, that must be why the pastor who I helped as a volunteer at the last National Youth Gathering served a church in Harlem, used page 15, and chanted in front of his black church. The gall of such statements. Do you know what the underlying message is when you say things like that? The people of Harlem are too stupid to get the liturgy. Whenever I hear people spout off about how, "We have to meet people where they are, so we have to change worship," what you are really saying in a not so clear way is that, "I'm a lazy ass and I don't want to teach people the liturgy and they're too stupid to learn it anyway." Thanks for the Christlike attitude.


Confessionals are on the right track, too bad you aren't a Confessional, you are a legalist pointing your finger to the speck in someone's eye when you have a plank sitting in your own.

Oh, so Mr. expert on what Harlem needs is now telling me I'm arrogant? Wow. And he calls himself confessional? Apparently, your lack of knowledge of the confessions, the constitution, and of what Harlem needs means I'm an arrogant ass. I'd gladly join a group called, say, the Axis of Assholes, but that name is already taken. How about this: rather than call me arrogant, you actually go back, read the confessions, and begin applying them to your life rather than wasting my time that could have been better spent looking for the next great fart joke. Being high church doesn't equal being confessional. Actually, all you Ablaze(TM)! types that read my blog can try to explain to me how you can support this "movement" (I had one of those a little after noon today) without committing vile, sinful acts to the confessions. Tell me how having no emphasis on the sacraments can spread the Gospel. Tell me how withholding money from our partner synods unless they participate is good stewardship. Heck, you can try to tell me where the hell the money actually is. Oh, and please tell me why everytime I read about it, I get this funny feeling and want to stick my hands up in the air and start shouting indecipherable sounds.

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