I hate it when you bite your tongue because you think it's the best course of action and let those with cooler heads fight your battles for you. Of course, when that doesn't work and the person in question responds with sarcasm, the weapon of choice on this blog is satire. In other words, look for the newest edition of The Scheister to emerge tomorrow. I'm sure Samuel Simon Schmucker can dig into the arguments and find some weaknesses.

Lutheran Carnival II: Kyrie Eleison, Christe Eleison, Kyrie Eleison

This is Jakob Andreae, another forgotten man in the history of Lutheranism, but a very important one. He was a contemporary of Chemnitz and an extremely important contributer to what became the Formula ofo Concord. You can read about him here. Thus, this carnival is in honor of another faithful servant of whom too few people know.

In case you are wondering what the theme for this carnival might be, look no further than the first word in the blog: random. I assigned all the emails I received a number based on when I received your email. Then, I wrote all the numbers on small pieces of paper and began pulling them out of a hat. Silly? Absolutely. Unnecessary? You bet. Keeping with this blog? Absolutely.

First up is Rev. Todd Peperkorn of The Lutheran Logomaniac who submitted the post Table Manners at the Lord's Altar. How should children (and their parents) behave at the Lord's Altar? This little article is a catechism for what to do, where, how and why it is important. It confesses Christ's presence in His Supper, and what this means for how we treat it.

The second post is by Stan Lemon at Confession of a Young Lutheran. His post The Dormition of Mary, the Mother of Our Lord is a meditation on the Dormition of the Blessed Virgin Mary. It contemplates her role as an icon of the church and the deep incarnational significance of Christ dwelling within her womb. This post raised quite a bit of controversy (and not just on his blog). He also posted More on Mary, which clarifies on a particular phrase he wrote, "He gives us Himself in Mary, in the Word, in bread and wine, and in Water." His response clarifies what was meant by this statement and further explains the incarnational nature of our Lord and what it means for Him to take on our flesh.

Pr. Walter Snyder at Ask the Pastor gives us a post called Structure for Daily Prayer. Responding to a questioner's wandering mind, Pastor Snyder offers advice for keeping one's prayer life focused, full, and vital.

Jonathan of Jonathan's Christian Weekly gives us Ouija Boards. This is about the ouija board, a somewhat popular children's game which involves the apparent presence of a spirit communicating with the "players". A discussion with Biblical references follows. Just so you know, I have questions about one or two things he says.

Rachel at The Moose Report gives us a post called The time has come to post on Blended Worship. This post discusses the important points of a presentation at the WELS Worship Conference on blended worship given by Rev. James Tiefel, professor of Worship and Homiletics at Wisconsin Lutheran Seminary in Mequon.

Charles Lehman (AKA Chaz) of Drowning Myself Whenever I Can has a post called Christ fills the Old Testament. It is a brief essay attacking antiseptic Christless Old Testament interpretation and illustrating Christological interpretation of the Old Testament using the concept of seed.

An old friend from other places on the internet, Seminarian Ryan Fouts, and his blog Little Loci discusses the Theology of the Cross -- About Christian or the Christ? Luther's "Theology of the Cross" is one of the most misunderstood teachings of Lutheranism. Is the "Theology of the Cross" about our suffering, a therapeutic insight to "get us through" daily life's trials? No! It's all about Christ's self-revelation for us: it all goes through the cross!

Peterson of Cyberstones submits a post on The Golden Age of Missouri: Not Granpa's. He considers the current strength of the LCMS in light of her history and finds it better today than ever before.

I posted on the question What Exactly is a Confessional Lutheran? I did more rambling than answering the question, but I think it turned out OK.

Kelly of Kelly's Blog graces us with the post Garnet, for Evelyn. After winning first prize in the local exhibition with a poem she wrote some time ago, Kelly shares it with the blogsphere.

Bob Waters has a blog post so large, he built a whole new blog for it. His post called God Bless You is a response to a post from a week ago by Melancthon on What is Lutheranism.

Karl of Full Throttle & an Empty Gas Tank gives us a post on Lutheran Reading, Where he talks about what he's been reading and his initial thoughts about the new Book of Concord.

David of David Creates with Legos; God with Logos wants to see how far a simple question will go on the Carnival.

Pastor Klages of A Beggar At The Table gives us a post on Cerinthus
. He cracks open his e-copy of the Ante-Nicene Fathers to dig up the dirt on one of the earliest, yet littlest known, heretics.

Dan at Necessary Roughness writes Of Churches and PowerPoint. Some Confessional Lutherans are turned off by the use of PowerPoint as a rule. PowerPoint is just another visual aid, and done correctly, can be used to enhance services. Most people who use PowerPoint in worship services can benefit from pointers learned in delivering effective business presentations.

Pastor Mark Hasty at Coram Deo submits the post Division by Zero. It is an examination of the confessional concept that the preaching of repentance is a proclamation of the Gospel, NOT of the law.

Tim at Balaam's Ass talks about Wholesome Irrelevance. There is no room for conservative, liturgical, traditional Christians in the usual categories of American Protestantism (i.e., Fundamentalism and Liberalism). So where do we fit? Is the "otherworldliness" of confessional Lutheranism irrelevant in our modern world? And is that wholly a bad thing? Or are we, as D.G. Hart says, "wholesome[ly] irrelevan[t]"?

Greg Alms of Incarnatus Est has a post on The Three Births of Christians. The three births of Christians (birth, baptism and death) all show forth clearly the gift character of life as a child of God. God gives us birth; all is by grace.

Elle (a very cute lady, if I might say) of Intolerant Elle posts on her new Reader's Edition of the Book of Concord. Elle weighs in on her new copy of A Reader's Edition of the Book of Concord.

Orycteropus of Aardvark Alley asks the question Luther Bigger than Oprah? A bit of Lutheran trivia moves Orycteropus to the throes of excursus on the influence Martin Luther had on the publishing world of his time.

Finally, Kathy of Kathy's Small Group Discussion Topics has The Story of the Two Swords. Kathy leads small group discussions for inmates at a county prison as a volunteer for Yokefellow Prison Ministry. This post is a story she uses to help the men think about having faith to the point of taking action and suffering for the belief.

That's it for now. The next Carnival will be hosted by IntolerantElle. On September 3, Aardvark Alley hosts, and on September 10, Necessary Roughness gets a chance to host. Beyond that, we are still looking for volunteers to host. If you would like to, you can email me at daniel DOT sellers AT gmail DOT com. The schedule will be updated at Lutheran Carnival. You can always find who is hosting on a particular week there.

The Lutheran Carnival is on schedule to be published tomorrow afternoon. I worked on it some very early this morning and finished it this afternoon. I only have a little touching up to do before unleashing it upon you all. You cannot believe how much work it takes to put this together. It takes even more work when people don't submit things in the proper format.

Just so you know, the Bible-Believing Liberals article is now posted in all its glory on Cyberbretheren. Go look and see what all the fuss was about. You might also check out this post on Midwest Conservative Journal.

Karl asks a question that I have been pondering mightily for a while: What exactly is a "Confessional Lutheran?" Now, why would a guy with the words confessional Lutheran be doing pondering what it means? When you see the state of Lutheranism in America, it is tough not to wonder about such questions.

Now, what is a confessional Lutheran? The answer is very simple. It is someone who makes a quia subscription to the Lutheran Confessions. Simple, right? Not so fast, my friend. A person may be confessional, but the person doesn't exist in a bubble. A person may be confessional but exist in a church or congregation that isn't. As a matter of fact, this is probably unavoidable. We are stuck in communities of sinners. Sinners have a tendency to compromise principles and just forget what God has called us to uphold. I myself am as guilty as anyone of this. In this sense, we have to trust in the grace of Christ, He who died for sinners. We have to trust our pastors to catechise those who confess with their lips and not their hearts. We have to trust the law will condemn their sin and the salve of the gospel to soothe their broken spirits.

But what happens when we lose our trust in our pastors because they themselves are not keeping their vow? I don't know if you know this, but pastors vow to remain faithful to and hold true the contents of the BoC. There are many pastors who ignore, forget, or stomp on this vow. Can a layman correct a pastor? Yes, especially if his fellow brothers will not do so. One of the more interesting scenes in the book Hammer of God is an elderly lady correcting her pastor in private. If he doesn't listen, however, what then?

You see, saying you are a confessional Lutheran is one thing, but being a confessional Lutheran is something completely different. It's a tough calling, but one we should embrace. There is nothing greater in this world than being embraced by God. There is nothing harder in this crazy world than living in that embrace.

In case you see the word "Scotch" and then want to flee because you know nothing, take a quick look here and see it's not quite so bad. Scotch is for Lutherans.

What's going on in the ELCA?

I recieved this email through CAT41.

Lutheran Blog Carnival I: The Incarnation is now up and ready to be perused by all who wish. If you didn't submit a link for the first carnival, there's plenty of time to submit a new link to the second carnival. Send the link to daniel DOT sellers AT gmail DOT com.

Where Relevance Leads

Now, for those of us in the LCMS, we've been worried and complaining about the possibility of allowing two people with penises or vaginas to be blessed in their sexual relationship, be ordained, and just be happy rainbow-wearing people. While we were busy praying that God would kill this silliness which is already occurring and probably cannot be stopped, the heterodox synod decided to shed all orthodoxy and become a pagan cult. If you talked to people within the ELCA who are worried, the issue of the new hymnal was equally a problem if not more of a problem than the homosexuality issue. Most of us were so worried about the Sixth Commandment that we didn't see they were going to trample on the first. Soon, they will worship not by invoking the name of the "Father, Son, and Holy Spirit," by using the name "Holy Eternal Majesty, Holy Incarnate Word, Holy Abiding Spirit." Hey, we can't keep using the Patristic language of our those who came before us because we have to be relevant to today's culture. We need to take those within our own synod by the collar, give them a good shake, point to the ELCA, and say that this is where relevance leads. Rick Warren is about 50 years behind. If we are not careful, in our quest to be relevant, we will be relevant and pagan, just like the ELCA.

edit: HT Watersblog

Two men are getting married in Canada. What else is new? What if they're both straight and want tax benefits? Now, that's a story.

HT Instapundit.

I had intended to write about this sooner, but I'm lazy so I'm writing this now.

Maybe I shouldn't call this what I like and dislike about the WELS service as much as what I am not used to. OK, maybe I could categorize things into these things: things that were good about the service, things that bugged me but I could live with, and things that really annoyed me.

First, there were many excellent and good things about the two churches I have attended with Elle. First, both pastors I heard preached understood the distinction of law and gospel very well. This should be self-explanatory. Secondly, the services are well-ordered. A form of the liturgy is used throughout most WELS churches. The page 26 liturgy in their hymnal Christian Worship was what I had the chance to experience at both services. I have more to say on this later. Thirdly, The churches were friendly. Contrary to the popular belief that may float around the internet, both churches (and especially the church here in Wichita) were very friendly and very happy that I was there as a visitor. Both pastors were very friendly, and I have no complaints there. Pastor Rockhoff spent a lot of time after the service answering my friend's questions and just conversing with us. Fourthly, the hymns that I sung were the same hymns that I normally sing, so there was an air of familiarity to the service. Also, I did appreciate at both churches the pastor handled the consecrated elements exclusively. I also liked some of the language used in the Nicene Creed. The "We believe," accurately translating the Greek the creed was originally written. I'll talk a little more about the creed later.

This next discussion has more to do with things that bother me more than anything. Understand, much of this has to do with me growing up in the LCMS. In a way, seeing a WELS service is like being in a parallel universe. Much of what you are used to is the same, but some of it just doesn't quite seem right. I'm used to pastors wearing collars. If they hadn't come up and introduced themselves, I'm not sure I would have known who they were until they robed. Also, their robe was more like a preaching robe rather than the more traditional alb. One pastor wore a stole, and one pastor had a stole that looked like it was sewn into his robe. You get this sense that the pietism that the synod started with just hasn't quite been driven out. As was mentioned in the WELS Q&A, their robes looked more like choir robes than something a pastor would wear.

I must, however, take issue with the hymnal, Christian Worship. The Service of Word and Sacrament (page 26, if I remember correctly) claims to have a basis in the ancient liturgy. Now, I don't claim in any way to be a liturgy expert, but the wording of some parts of the service didn't seem to have basis in much of anything. It was almost like, "Well, this sounds funny so let's rewrite it." The Proper Preface is replaced by something that just isn't quite as powerfully written, to be honest. No "It is truly, good, right, and salutary...." No "...with angels and archangels and all the company of heaven...." They also changed the wording on a few other things. The Kyrie sounded funny to me. They use a longer Kyrie, similar to Divine Service 2 in LW. The most egregious example is the gender neutral language used in the Nicene Creed. Christ suddenly becomes a human rather than a man, and they eliminated the word "men" in the phrase "for us men." One of the consequences of this is that it eliminates the fact that Jesus is a man. Yes, this seems to be pounding on the obvious, but it's little things like this that can lead to all sorts of problems down the road. WELS should reinsert that phrasology back into the creed.

Overall, it was interesting. It was like being in someplace familiar, but with a few things not quite right. I'm sure Elle would say much the same about her experience in my home congregation. I think both of us consider our visits overall positive. I now know what a WELS church is like, kind of. I don't think I can judge a whole synod in two visits, but apparently I can judge a hymnal in that short time.

One of the brighter lights in the ELCA has now gone home.

Thank you to everyone who has linked to or commented on The Lutheran Carnival. If you haven't linked there yet, why not? You should, because this thing could flame out any second now, so link to it while you can!

Actually this post is a plea of sorts. If you are thinking about submitting a post, please do so ASAP and don't wait until the absolute last minute.

I thought about doing this for a while, but now I'm finally taking the step. I started up something new called The Lutheran Carnival. If you don't know what a Carnival of blogs is, check it out. The first carnival will be hosted on that site a week from Sunday, and your links need to be in to me by a week from today. I really hope this thing takes off and it becomes a weekly spending of Confessional Lutheran thought on the blogsphere. I don't like comment spam, so I'm not going to resort to that to publicize this blog, but please participate and whore it on your blogs.

Chris Jones is finally posting on a more regular basis. When he was posting regularly, it was one of the best blogs on the internet. He's still one of the smartest guys on the internet. His background gives him a perspective I cannot even imagine.

If you want to do something good, go bother the Terrible Swede and tell him to put his Star Wars books down and go read Hammer of God like he's supposed to.

Go check out Lutheran Jargon, especially the pictures of Minister2b and our SP. He's the fourth Alaskan blogger I know (and the only one who attends and LCMS church) while I know a whole whopping two bloggers from Kansas.

Maybe I am hypervenalating, but I still find "divine calls" without congregations difficult to swallow. After thinking about it, if I were the SP and a board called one of my avowed enemies, I would probably do what Kieschnick did.

As to the calling of missionaries, we could have churches here call them and send people out to the mission field. This would have the wonderful consequence of not having our missionaries taught how to prayerwalk by our Board of Missions. Have I ever mentioned I think our Board of Missions has a lot to be desired?

There is such a thing as an immediate call because an immediate call comes right from God, that is, God comes down and says, "Hey! You!. Yeah, you right there! I've got some work for you." That, my friends, is an immediate call.

If you haven't read my comments on the last post, I just wanted to let you know I got my argument wrong. Chemnitz didn't say anything close to what I thought he had said. I've spent the last couple of days reviewing the doctrine of the Call, and I blew it. In an ironic twist, however, I still think my conclusion holds. I just used bad assumptions to get there.

On that jolly note, I have even more jolly news: the link purge happened. If you were happily thinking I'd leave your link up there forever and you could ignore etiquette, you're wrong now. Linking back to someone who links to you is a simple matter of courtesy. I even went through the Lutheran Blog Directory and checked to see if anyone linked to me and I didn't link back. I now have a couple of blogs on my blogroll I didn't have before.

As to the doctrine of the call, I have an answer to a question that came up in Tabletalk. There are two types of calls in Scripture. These two types are the immediate call and the mediate call. The immediate call is a call that comes directly from God. For instance, burning bushes are signs of an immediate call. Moses, most of the prophets, and all the Apostles were given immediate calls. Miracles and other signs accompany immediate calls because the people need to know that the call came from God. Mediate calls, on the other hand, are calls given through ordinary means. The priesthood in the Old Testament, for instance, is an example of a mediate call. It was a call through the means of birthright, but it is a call. All our modern clergy are called by ordinary means.

Anyway, I'll get my logic together and represent my case that the "divine call" isn't really a call.

Another thing just came to me. If this call isn't a Divine Call, this shouldn't even be handled by the SP, whose job is to maintain orthodox doctrine. This should fall to the Board of directors, being a kingdom of the left issue since a divine call is no longer in play. Of course, the SP has his hands in everything, so the maintenance of the kingdom of the right falls by the wayside.

I don't know if any of you have commented on this post by Bunnie, or if you have read this memo from our Synodical President. It deals with divine calls and does the Synodical President have the right to block a divine call. The only problem is there is a deeper issue here that is being missed: how come the Board of Communications are issuing "divine" calls in the first place. This whole issue pisses me off. We keep adding temporary calls and calls to organizations and calls to elected offices that Chemnitz is just evaporating from our minds. Unless I was really drunk when I read it, I seem to remember him saying a call is only a divine call if a CONGREGATION issues it. Not some board, not a district, not and RSO, and not even missionaries should have what one would call the divine call. Only pastors called by congregations have the divine call. Period. So, in my mind, to say Kieshnick is blocking a divine call is ludicrous.

As usual, however, he's letting his minions (the Commission on Constitutional Matters (CCM)) do his dirty work. If he really wanted to screw everyone over, however, he would have referred this matter to the Commission on Theology and Church Relations. They could have mucked up the theology of the divine call even more, making it more meaningless than it is now.

I just changed the blog of the week because the old blog was shutting it down. I'll miss Steve's posts. However, there is a very new blog (just put up today) that has ascended to Blog of the Week because, well, she's cool. With that being said, welcome Musical Ramblings to my blogroll and Blog of the Week.

I also added the The Joshua Victor Theory.

edited because I can't spell and talk to elle at the same time

I was coming home from the Y today, and I heard one of my favorite country songs ever on the radio.

Well I love her
But I love to fish
I spend all day out on this lake
And hell is all I catch
Today she met me at the door
Said I would have to choose
If I hit that fishin' hole today
She'd be packin' all her things
And she'd be gone by noon

Well I'm gonna miss her
When I get home
But right now I'm on this lakeshore
And I'm sittin' in the sun
I'm sure it'll hit me
When I walk through that door tonight
That I'm gonna miss her
Oh, lookie there, I've got a bite

Now there's a chance that if I hurry
I could beg her to stay
But that water's right
And the weather's perfect
No tellin' what I might catch today

Well I'm gonna miss her
When I get home
But right now I'm on this lakeshore
And I'm sittin' in the sun
I'm sure it'll hit me
When I walk through that door tonight
That I'm gonna miss her
Oh, lookie there, I've got a bite

Yeah, I'm gonna miss her
Oh, lookie there, I've got a bite

For some reason, this song just amuses me. It's a creative spin on the "my wife left me" song, and it's sung in such a way as to make one think that he really doesn't care that she will leave him. It's the antithesis of what most people joke about a country song being.

While coming home from MTW's production of Seussical, (Elle and I went to see A Chorus Line and we both enjoyed it immensely), I was listening to the classic rock station in town. I just have a question: since when has Skid Row and Judas Priest been considered classic rock? I'm just curious.

I took the old poll down because it hit over 100 responses, so now I have another silly, meaningless poll up for you to ponder and vote on. I can assure you that this poll probably is close to being sacrilegious. I admit, I like the t-shirts that ask "What would Jesus Do ... for a Klondike Bar?" I'm kind of silly that way.

Sometime soon, I am going to go through my blogroll. Those blogs who have links to me shall continue. Those who do not shall be purged. I'm starting to get a little sick of linking to everybody else and people not linking back. It's called etiquette, people. On that note, if you link to me and for some reason I don't link to you, please tell me and I will remedy that situation as soon as possible.

In case you are still wondering, the French still suck.

It annoys me that in New York, they are beginning random searches of bags in the New York subway system. Oh no, we can't just search all the Arabs that ride the subway because that's profiling and profiling is wrong, even though male Arabs are the ones who are blowing themselves to Allah and hoping for 72 virgins. I won''t say what I think those guys get, but it involves habeneros and enemas. Anyway, once our somewhat warped government quits being politically incorrect and starts actually trying to protect us domestically, I'll let you know. Once the border becomes one giant game of "Don't piss on the electric fence," I'll feel a little safer.

The first 29 years of my life, I never attended a WELS service. In the past three months, I have attended two WELS services. I found there were good and bad points to these experiences, but I'll leave those comments for later.

Once again, I prove I am random and nuts.

Elle was so wonderful to be around the past couple of weeks. We spent a lot of time doing various things like going minature golfing, visiting museums and other attractions I hadn't been to in years or had never been to, and a lot of time annoying my sister and having her say, "I saw that!"

Actually, everyone who met Elle liked her, which made me very happy. I kind of expected that reaction, but you never know. All of my crazy relatives that matter and all my friends that met her liked her. Even some of my coworkers told me they liked her. No wonder I like her.

Elle has gone home today and I miss her greatly. In the next day or two, I might tell some of the adventures we went on and the fun we had. I am determined to enjoy her company again soon. Skype, however, will have to do again for a bit.

I will be catching up on my reading the next few days. I hardly read any blogs when she was here. I only caught a few snippets here and there. I am completely clueless as to what has been discussed recently.

I have three birthdays to celebrate soon. My sister is turning 21, my mom is turning 52, my grandma is turning 80. I'll probably get out of my funk soon.

Anyway, I need to get some sleep and take a shower. It's been a trying day for me, and I don't like going through this. Not only that, Elle is taking all the cool air back home with her. It's going to get into the 100s. The day before she came, it was over 100. Now, it's getting hot again. Just my luck.

If you haven't noticed, girlfriends take up a lot of time and energy. That's not a bad thing, mind you. I enjoy pouring all my energy and time into Elle. I wouldn't bother giving her two of the most precious gifts God has granted us if I didn't enjot it. I'm only posting to remind everyone I am not dead.

After grittiness and grimacing through the Wikipedia article on the LCMS, I once again realized something I have apparently forgotten: you cannot define theology by using the traditional left-right conservative-liberal political axis. As I have mentioned before, the distinction between conservative-liberal tends to end up being defined by what a group happens to think about political issues and not about their theology. With many conservative Christians, what they proclaim with their mouth doesn't necessarily square with their practice. In the end, the best thing to do is to go back to the system the Church herself developed: orthodox or heretical. Yes, this doesn't make people happy because many people think calling someone a heretic is a mean and horrible thing. It is horrible, but not for the reasons some may think. It is horrible such a term must be used because these people are not orthodox and are allowing their sinful natures to rule their hearts. Thus, we shouldn't sit there and adopt terms that either confuse and confound the issue, but cut to the heart of the matter. What is Rick Warren? He isn't a conservative. He's a heretic. Period. John Shelby Spong? Heretic. Robert Schuler? Heretic. Jesse Jackson? Heretic. George Bush? Heretic. Benny Hinn? Heretic and sucker-puncher of crippled people (thanks Larry the Cable Guy!).

I think some of you may be wondering if I have forgotten how to blog. In some ways, I have. Love is such a strange thing, and it makes you do things that you normally wouldn't do. For instance, I normally wouldn't be all sad while at work because work is work and I need money. Because Elle is here for so long, however, I have to work some. My job is such that I don't have to work full time, but I do most of the time because I need the money. I'm taking some time off while Elle is here, but I still need to work some. Otherwise, how am I going to afford my Y membership. That being said, when I am at work, I miss Elle. We've grown close over the short time together.

Tonight is movie night. We're going to go see War of the Worlds. I'm not much of a Tom Cruise fan, but who is. Anyway, I heard the first 20-30 minutes of the movie is awesome, then it goes downhill after that. At least I can take solace in the fact we're going to a theater where we can drink (yea, real alcohol) while watching the movie. We'll see how much beer improves Tom Cruise's acting.

I'm really glad John and Chris and their families are OK.

To a Chris H., I suggest a diet of almonds, fish, buffalo, and any other low-fat protein you can get your hands on plus healthy doses of cheesecake and soda.

Went here and here today. It has been a good few days so far. Elle has enjoyed her time here, and I have been taking her around the area and seeing the sites Kansas has to offer. Kansas, by the way, has a lot to offer, even for people from Alaska. Anyway, we're going to go see fireworks tonight, so I need to go take a couple thousand bottles of DEET and bathe in it.

Anyway, as you might imagine, we are both very distracted at the moment. It's not that I suggest you don't come here, as I am sure many of you would comment. Half the fun of my blog is the comments.

We had an awesome storm rip through the area about three hours ago. The sky takes on this blueish-green hue, which means hail. I was over at my cousin's house celebrating my aunt's birthday, and the storm dropped hail up to about nickel size. My dear Intolerant Elle finally got to see a severe storm, and experienced the temperature dropping over 20 degrees within minutes. It was a good day today.

Ron just wiped me out on poker. He, however, once again proved that he cannot hold his liquor. His wife is currently driving him home. Lucky dog.

I just have two words to post tonight: Bob Dole.

While there are many people complaining about the Supreme Court, some of us in Kansas are complaining about the Kansas Supreme Court. They're forcing the state to spend money on schools which we do not have. This annoys me to no end. What right does the Supreme Court of Kansas have to set legislative priorities? It doesn't. I don't remember if the Kansas Supreme Court has to stand for a vote of whether they are to continue in office, but if so, I will vote against every single one of these people. Their actions show me that they are not fit to be jurists, plain and simple.

Dennis Raider, BTK, just plead guilty to all 10 counts of murder he was charged with.

The first quote came out of the mouth of Rick Warren, a well-known "conservative." The second quote is from John Shelby Spoooooong, Retired Bishop of Newark and well-known liberal. Both believe the church must change. Rick Warren is a liberal, a 19th Century liberal, but a liberal. Spong and company have taken the whole change thing to its extreme. So whenever someone speaks about conforming to this world, you now know that they are liberals, even if they claim to be conservatives.

Meet the Bible-believing liberals. While they believe that the culture needs to return to its historic traditions, they think the church needs to abandon hers. While maintaining that the Flag should be proudly displayed, they fear that a cross at church might offend seekers. While they believe men and women have defined roles in marriage and family, they don't see why a woman can't replace a man in the pulpit. While outraged that our schools cater to the lowest-common denominator, they think our churches need to be geared to the unchurched. They believe that public policy should be based on objective facts, but preaching should be based on felt needs. They want "under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance, but omit the Apostles' Creed from the Sunday service. They want the Ten Commandments in the public square, but are unconcerned when those commandments are replaced with "principles for living" from the pulpit. To the Bible-Believing liberal, ceremonies of a Presidential inauguration are meaningful and inspiring, but the Sunday morning liturgy is boring. For the Bible-believing liberal, the differences between political parties are serious, but the differences between Christian denominations are petty. While they insist on a strict literal interpretation of the US Constitution, they play fast and lose with the Bible and its theology, even while maintaining its inerrancy and inspiration. These are the Bible-believing liberals.

Issues Etc. Journal, v. 4 no. 2, pp 5-6

A little later on this afternoon, me and a couple of the other ESL teachers are taking our students out here for a little fun and sun. It will be nice to not have to be "El Maestro" and just be a goofy guy who happens to speak just a smattering of Espanol. That's not to say I'm not bringing a Spanish-English dictionary, because I am. And my book of verbs. Just in case.

I'll let everyone in on the post below a little later tonight, after I am back from here. Have I mentioned I found some awesome mud cracks preserved in the rocks in that area?

Let's play "Who am I quoting?"

When a thing grows weak and out of date, it is obviously soon going to disappear. That's also true of churches. If a church cannot change, it will eventually die.

Clearly change in both liturgy and structure is inevitable, and this change will probably be radical, if not total. ... the forms the Church assumed in the past inevitably must die.

One is a conservative, one is a liberal. Can you tell who said what?

I thought of a couple more books I should add to this list of silliness.

Dave Barry's Guide to Guys. Every woman should read this to determine whether she married a man or if she has a guy on her hands.

Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs. Perhaps the greatest book on bad music out there. It makes me wanna "Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!" He makes me wanna "SCREEEEAAAAAAAMMMMMMM!"

Black Hawk Down. The story about one of the most under appreciated battles our armies fought in modern times.

A Good Walk Spoiled. Anyone who plays golf understands the title of this book.

So I have been tagged by Pensy and given very specific instructions as to what I am supposed to post about. I am supposed to post about books highschoolers should read. I am Random Daniel. I am not some run of the mill blogger who will just be put on a leash through my nosering, so I am making up my own list of important books everyone should read.

Carbonate Depositional Environments. This was the text for my carbonate sedimentology class. A page turner for all people.

Carbonate Sequence Stratigraphy. You have to know why these sediments matter when they turn into limestones and dolomites. You also have to know why these depositional patterns might be prolific oil producers.

North American Stratigraphic Code. How the Goat Seep Formation (and yes, that is a real formation name) can be names that.

Carbonate Petrography. How to recognize carbonate facies under a microscope.

Sandstone Depositional Environments. You sometimes have to get your hands dirty and actually touch sand and other siliciclastics. This book tells you how they get deposited so you can avoid them (unless they have oil or gas).

The Geology of Stratigraphic Sequences. This is a critical look at sequence stratigraphy and its usefulness.

Riders of the Purple Sage. Quite possibly the best Western ever. It has Mormons, guns, and mountains. What else could a man want?

Shane. The Western as Literature. This is the only western considered worthy of a critical edition.

The Haunted Mesa. Navajo beliefs make up this extremely interesting novel. Not a western in the truest sense, it still makes good reading.

On Being a Theologian of the Cross: Reflections on Luther's Heidelberg Disputation, 1518. You didn't think I wouldn't put a theology book down, did you.

OK, I tag Chris Halverson (I'm willing to let the ELCA have a little bit of fun), Full Throttle & an Empty Gas Tank, and The Terrible Swede. The only rule is that you have to post books. How many and about what is up to you. I don't even care if you've even read the books.

Have fun.

The Scheister now has an update on the tragic Ablaze(TM) event.

The newest edition of the Scheister is now up. Bad satire made funnier by playing on steriotypes.

The newspaper an old friend of mine had me publish on the long blog needs to be resurrected. It's been almost 10 months since it issued a report of extremely accurate reporting.* The problem has been a lack of material. OK, it's not a lack of material but a lack of motivation on my friend's part and distractions that have occurred recently. However, he will have another extremely hard-hitting report of recent LCMS events.

* If you believe this, I have a wall in China I want to sell you.

Congratulations to my friends Dan and Sarah on their marriage today. I wish the two of you nothing but the best.

I had a mini-keg of Warsteiner last night. It about killed me. I was sober by the time I was home, but I still managed to wake up with a headache that didn't go away until I took some ibuprofen after the wedding. Headaches suck.

I am so happy bell choir will finally be over for the summer tomorrow. It's grating me greatly.

You all are wondering how I lost all the weight I lost. I'm not going to say it was easy and that I wanted to quit at times, but I found a few things I learned along the way very helpful. This is just some random thoughts about some of the things that worked for me. I cannot guarantee they will work for you, but they might give you some idea of where to start. Let's face it, Weight Watchers and all the other fad diets can work for a bit, but losing weight does involve lifestyle changes, and you have to be committed to these if you want to make it.

First, I advise you to start slowly. Don't go out there thinking that you will just do everything and think you'll have any chance of staying on your diet. You didn't get where you are at once, so you have to change slowly.

Secondly, if you join a health club (like the Y), see if you can meet with a personal trainer. You can talk to them and adjust your workout according to whatever your fitness level is and safely add to your workout. Face it: you will have to exercise.

Thirdly, that fast food has to go. You cannot expect to lose weight when you are shoving Big Macs and Chalupas down your piehole. Cut out the fast food and you'll be surprised.

Fourth, quit drinking anything loaded with sugar. Go to either diet sodas or diet juices. This even included beer. I drank scotch while dieting.

Fifth, no more potatoes and white bread. Yes, I know they taste so good. Yes, I know you cannot believe you can live without it. Yes, you might as well pour a big bag of sugar down your throat. My goal was to eliminate sugar, and starch isn't the right way to do it.

Sixth, greens, nuts, fruits, vegies, and fish are your friends.

Finally, remember the basic rule: you will lose weight if you burn more calories than you take in. In the end, it is that simple. Exercise boosts your metabolism so you burn more calories. You all are probably going duhhh. Exercise and eat right, you'll be OK.

As many of you know, I have lost a lot of weight the past seven, eight, nine months. I've worked really hard to get to where I am. I spent many a day wishing I wasn't alive with my arms, legs, chest, and back all in excruciating pain. You get to the point very quickly when the stiffness and pain go away. There comes a point where you begin craving exercise. It is a strange place to be where you want to go to the gym because you feel so good when you go. When I had to quit because I was sick, I missed working out. Just now I am getting back up to speed. In essence, the pain was worth it. I get tweaks every now and then, like my recent back injury. You just take it easy and try to work the tweaks out. I'm feeling much better. My back still hurts a little, but it's still worth it. I'll take it easy on my back tomorrow.

My back sucks. I was at the Y yesterday doing the lat pulldown and I tweaked my back really good. Now it hurts and I have to take drugs. Hmmm, Drugs/ At least it's muscle pain.

Which member of the Deadly Viper Assasination Squad are you? Bill (Snake Charmer) You are the leader of the Squad, but watch your back.

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What military aircraft are you? F-15 Eagle You are an F-15. Your record in combat is spotless; you've never been defeated. You possess good looks, but are not flashy about it. You prefer to let your reputation do the talking. You are fast, agile, and loud, but reaching the end of your stardom.

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I was just going to get to the thing I was going to post tonight, but then I was distracted. I can't help but be distracted by a new Bach piece being discovered. Thanks to Bunnie for the link. It figures Sir John Eliot Gardiner is getting the first crack at recording it. It seems like it would have either been him or Philippe Herreweghe would get the first crack at any piece since they seem to be on the cutting edge of Bach performances. Those also means those who dished out the money for Bach 2000 will soon have to dish out a little more money for one more recording. Update the BVW numbers.

But there is one thing that I have never from my youth been able to understand. I have never been able to understand where people got the idea that democracy was in some way opposed to tradition. It is obvious to me that tradition is democracy extended through time. It is trusting to a consensus of common human voices rather than some isolated and arbitrary record. The man who quotes some German historian against the tradition of the Catholic Church, for instance, is strictly appealing to aristocracy. He is appealing to the superiority of one expert against the awful authority of the mob. It is quite easy to see why a legend is treated, and ought to be treated, more respectfully than a book of history. The legend is generally made by the majority of people in the village, who are sane. The book is generally written by the one man in the village who is mad. Those who urge against the tradition that men in the past were ignorant may go and urge it at the Carlton Club, along with the statement that voters in the slums are ignorant. It will not do for us. If we attach great importance to the opinion of ordinary men in great unanimity when we are dealing with daily matters, there is no reason why we should disregard it when we are dealing with history of fable. Tradition may be defined as an extension of the franchise. Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to the small arrogant oligarchy of those who merely happen to be walking about. All democrats object to men being disqualified by the accident of birth; tradition objects to their being disqualified by the accident of death. Democracy tells us not to neglect a good man's opinion, even if he is our groom; tradition asks us not to neglect a good man's opinion, even if he is our father. I, at any rate, cannot separate the two ideals of democracy and tradition; it seems evident to me that they are the same idea. We will have the dead at our councils. The ancient Greeks voted by stones; these shall vote by tombstones. It is all quite regular and official, for most tombstones, like most ballot papers, are marked by a cross. - GK Chesterton, Orthodoxy, pp. 44-45

OSC by his own reply to my blog undermines his own argument as to what he is trying to get at. By telling me to engage in all the conversation in theology that I want with other friends, then telling me blogs are not conversations, are you starting to see what I see? My comments line is my way of conversing with you all. It's not like if I say something stupid that I can get away with it. I have said many stupid things on this blog and end up being called out because of it. No, it isn't a conversation in the conventional sense of the word, but it is a conversation that can have many more participants than a traditional conversation might and, because of the internet, it is worldwide. I'm not spouting off here, saying I am right, and pretending I am a pastor. I'm a layman, throwing out ideas about different aspect of our theology and politics and seeing if any of them stick.

I do believe that Chaz is right when he says "Old Missouri" is Jesus First(NI!). Most people will just go along with whatever these people push without much thought. The Daystar(NI!) crowd is destined for the LCMC it seems. There isn't much difference between the "Radical Waltherians" and the WELS/ELS bunch except the willingness to go along with the WELS/ELS way. There is still some refining and thinking I need to do about this topic, but I'm too busy reading Hammer of God.

By the way, I need to say Hammer of God rocks.

It is cool to be on tabletalk and blogging at the same time.

I wrote a down and dirty analysis of what I think might happen when the LCMS splits (I don't think it is an if anymore, but when.) So, here is a slightly more coherent post on what I thought might happen.

First, the Confessional side. I believe there will be three groups coming from the confessional churches. The first is what I call the "Radical Waltherians." This would include anyone who spends too much time on Lutherquest or Reclaiming Walther. Basically, these people will hang their hat on the authority of Voters Meetings. Secondly, there will be the middle-high church catholics. These people believe in the liturgy and that chanting isn't a bad thing. They tend to have a higher view of the pastoral office, and probably spend their days reading Gottesdienst and telling anyone they meet that the liturgy isn't an adiaphoron. The third group is the WELS/ELS migraters. They already made up their minds that they are heading to greener pastures and they only need a good excuse to push them there.

The Non-confessional side will also break into three. While they are better organized and vote as a block in most things, there are enough differences between these three groups to cause ruptures and fissures once the confessionals leave. The first is the Jesus First(NI!) crowd. This group of wannabe American Evangelicals will continue to be Ablaze and set fire to the purpose driven(TM) world until they reform themselves into oblivion. They will split from their Daystar(NI!) political allies because this group, while not being confessional, is conservative and can't stomach the thought of allegorizing Genesis 1-13. Daystar (NI!) are all the liberals that weren't honest enough to leave after the walkout or they colloquialized their way into the LCMS and have decided to infect our synod. They will find Daystar turning against them like vultures on carrion. They will find refuge with the ELCA "confessionals" and begin ordaining women. The third group is the RIM (Renewal in Missouri) group who are Pentecostals running around in Lutheran clothing. They will probably find refuge with one of the more independent church groups who actually buy into that nonsense.

So, this is my analysis. It might be completely off, but it might also be right on. Who knows. We'll just have to wait until it happens, and that could be a while.

This is just plain awesome. It's the Lutheran equivalent of LEGO Porn.

If you were not at Tabletalk tonight, you missed my all-encompasing analysis of what will happen to the LCMS. You should really jump in anytime.

Being a Royals fan can be real drudgery at times. You're a fan of a franchise whose payroll is smaller than some MLB player's salaries (A-Rod). That being said, I get a perverse pleasure out of a group of young, inexperienced nobodies winning not one, not two, but three games against the New York Yankees and their $200+ payroll. It's times like this that make me glad to be a Royals fan.

I've thought about laymen and blogs and the only thing I can say is if we are violating the BoC by teaching, none of us should be reading The Spirituality of the Cross. Is it wrong for Christians to discuss doctrine to others? If so, I've broken that many times, with beer in my hand no less. Before the Terrible Swede was so terrible (in his BE days), we would go grab dinner at a local beer joint that had over 100 beers and we'd talk about doctrine and whatever else was on our minds at the time. Was it wrong for us to discuss doctrine?

Finally, Elle is coming to see me soon. Yay!

If you haven't crashed Tabletalk yet, you are missing out on some interesting conversations. The past two weeks, Pr Paul McCain of Cyberbretheren fame and also the CEO of Concordia Publishing house has dropped by and we asked all sorts of questions about CPH and the products they are putting out. Even without that, the fact you can meet many of the Lutheran bloggers you read every day and see our warped senses of humor. You missed our running commentary of the clown service. You're missing the Monty Python jokes. You're missing random "Papal" bulls being issued. Basically, you're missing a lot of fun. Drop by. I promise, you won't regret it (too much).

Memorial Day is tomorow, so I do not think it inapropriate to link to this site. In Rememberance.

At some point, I think we all knew the beer gals were going to have to go. I hinted at it a while back, but I am sick of having beer gals disappear on me. So, one of the gals (the one with the wedding ring) has gone on to join the endless stream of 1s and 0s on the internet. The other beer gal, however, has found a new home. It's just up to you to figure out where she is now...

I did promise long ago that I would put up a stratigraphic section for you on this blog. Go ahead and scroll down to the bottom to where the Bach picture that now resides top your left once resided and see what I have up for you all. I know it doesn't even come close to replacing the beer gals, but I did promise I would post something like this, so a promise is a promise.

I'm reading GK Chesterton's Orthodoxy, and I am crawling my way through chapter 3.

At any street corner we may meet a man who utters the frantic and blasphemous statement that he may be wrong. Every day one comes across somebody who says that of course his view may not be the right one. Of course his view must be the right one, or it is not his view. We are on the road to producing a race of men too mentally modest to believe in the multiplication table. We are in danger of seeing philosophers who doubt the law of gravity as being a mere fancy of their own. Scoffers of old time were too proud to be convinced; but these are too humble to be convinced. The meek do not inherit the earth; but modern skeptics are too meek even to claim their inheritance. It is exactly this intellectual helplessness that is our second problem.

p. 28

I think the beer gal has finally been taken off for good. I keep waiting, hoping the website I ripped her picture from will put her back up, but to no avail. I'm going to have to replace her. Maybe Elle could put on the Bavarian costume and run around with huge mugs of beer.

I'm glad a three-day weekend is here. It will give me time to talk to Elle and ignore this blog all the more.

The questions about blogging and teaching keep coming up on different blogs. I think this question does need to be thought about seriously because no one wants to run afoul of the Augsburg Confession, even if unintentionally. I do have thoughts on this, but they'll have to wait until I am a little less silly and tired.

I know many of you were sad when Josh's blog Fearsome Pirate went the way of the Dodo. Fear not, my friends. Thanks to the web archive, the Fearsome Pirate still lives. See Josh go off on Calvinists. For all of you who are new, see what the Lutheran blogsphere looked like before Here We Stand.

So, Acerbic Lady, what part of give me your email address or tell us who you are did you not understand? Not only that, why did you decide to piss me off even more by posting at another IP address, thus getting around my ban? Why did you do this after making the rules of commenting on this blog crystal clear? As far as I'm concerned, your question deserves no answer at this point because you seem content to flaunt the rules of this blog. That's OK. I banned your new IP address as well. If you feel the need for an answer to your question, you can email him and ask him yourself. He'll probably tell you that enjoying a bunch of puppets destroying a city is different from actually wanting to see a city destroyed and that the jump you made isn't logical, but he just might give you a different answer. Like I said, you can email him yourself and ask.

Since I have to do this every once in a while, I would like to reiterate the rules of commenting on my blog.

1) No pseudonyms without a posted email address.
2) If you pot your real name, I still need an email address.
3) No one calls me or any of my friends assholes.

It's funny when people decide to lecture you on Christian love then turn around and call you an asshole. So, Acerbic Lady, I'm actually not banning you from commenting for any of those reasons. I'm banning you because, by degrading your argument by adding an ad hominem attack, you've shown yourself to be an intellectually impaired, thus violating the fourth rule: don't piss the author off. If you wish to comment some more, you'll have to email me and suddenly not be anonymous and not hide behind that pseudonym of yours. Of course, that would mean being accountable for what you said and we can't have that. Let's all call each other assholes while hiding behind pseudonyms. That would make the world a much better place, don't you think? I think the world would be swell if we all hid behind pseudonyms and called each other assholes. We could call it South Park! We could drop S-bombs, F-bombs, M-Fer bombs, etc. and not be accountable for what we said! What fun.

We're all here, with our names and emails out for the world to see. You're hiding behind a pseudonym and don't even have the guts to tell us who you are. Do you I'm going to sit here and let you call me an asshole while lecturing me on how I'm supposed to be loving? Get the log out of your own eye.

I've let the poll go long enough. Here are the final results for those who are interested.

What do you think about the lawsuit filed by the Lutheran Concerns Association?

I support it 100%: 39%, 41 votes
In general, I support it but with some reservations: 13%, 14 votes
I really don't know what to think about it: 8%, 8 votes
In general, I am against it but with some reservations: 10%, 10 votes
I am against it 100%: 30%, 31 votes

I am putting up a new poll. Do you read the Deuterocanonical books of the Bible?

I'm finally getting around to adding a sitemeter. I've had this blog for over 2 years now and I am just getting a sitemeter. I really don't care how many people come and look at my blog, but there is a curiosity there to see what kind of traffic this blog is pulling in and how many "silent readers" I have out there. Blogs are kind of like talk radio: only a small fraction of the people actually listening to talk radio call in. Only a small fraction of the people reading my blog are bothering to comment I am sure. Now, at least, I'll know exactly how many people visit each day.

I was recently a message board I frequent and the topic came up in the theology section about the mark of the beast. What is the mark of the beast? I think the fact that they are even asking a question like that brings up multiple concerns. First, I have to wonder about how these people interpret apocalyptic literature in the Bible. Secondly, you wonder if these people are able to interpret the rest of the Bible because this question betrays an inability to keep Christ central in their lives. Finally, it shows a lack of faith because these people believe the beast is coming and they want to avoid the mark, seemingly unable to realize that clinging to Christ will be enough to protect them from the mark, if that is even a future reference. What amazes me is how faulty Christologies end up leading into all sorts of errors. Through just discussing with these people and what they believe, I have figured this out. Of course, there are many people who are probably reading this saying, "It's about time you figured it out!" I thought about this today, and there isn't one heresy I can think of that doesn't start out with a false sense of who Christ is. There may be some out there, but you get my point. Christology is central to the faith and if you get it wrong, there is a lot that can go wrong.

Enough said about this news story:

Europe unites in hatred of French.

I guess my xenophobia is inherited from my German, English, Irish, Scotch-Irish, ... ancestors.

I'm updating this post to add this classic line:

Interestingly, the Swedes consider them "disobedient, immoral, disorganised, neo-colonialist and dirty".

You know you're in really bad shape when the Swedes start talking nasty about you.

I have really messed with my blogroll. With the demise of the group hamblog, I had to eliminate it. I have to replace what I eliminate, so Elle is now in an honored place on my blog, even above the Blog of the Week(TM). As I mentioned in my comments, if you want pictures of me and Elle, you must email me. My email address is scattered throughout the comments section of this blog, so don't complain that you can't find it.

I've updated my blogroll again. That seems to be getting rarer and rarer these days.

The funniest thing about this whole lawsuit thing is I detest lawsuits in general as a waste of money, time, and energy. After thinking about this whole thing some more, I realized my general political belief that stupid lawsuits and Paul's admonition must trump whatever good I may or may not think this lawsuit would maybe do. You see, I am a sinner just like everyone else, and I sometimes get these crazy ideas about how the blogsphere can conquer the LCMS or that a lawsuit might actually do some good. You'll have to forgive me and my sometimes over-anal-ytical mind. God has to keep killing the theology of glory welling up in me. This won't be the last stupid thing I write. At least I know it is stupid.

If you haven't checked out the results of the poll, you might take a look. The distribution of votes is quite fascinating. It looks like a bell curve, except inversed. I find it fascinating how many people have decided it is either a good idea or bad idea period. It also fascinated me as to how many of you voted as quickly as you did. Most of you had your minds made up extremely quickly as to what you believe. I find it fascinating, especially in light of the fact I have given a lot of thought about it and I have yet to actually decide what to think about it. Everytime I think I have it figured out, I think of some other wrinkle that throws it back to square one. I do know this: no matter what, mediation is needed to deal with these issues. The problem is finding someone who both sides would trust to mediate. Yes, the blood has become that bad. If it wasn't, this lawsuit wouldn't even have been considered. My honest dilemma is whether this is beyond mediation, or if some type of outside arbitration is needed. Whether the arbitration is the courts or some other non-partisan authority is another question to be pondered. I do know this: if anyone thinks Matthew 18 is even remotely possible at this point, I've read of too many people try to contact SP Kieshnick too many times and get stonewalled in the process. Miracles are possible, but past performance tends to say we could try, but it's just not going to happen. In a way, I can understand the lawsuit as a last-ditch attempt to wake him up. Then again, are we at the point where last-ditch efforts are needed?

In the end, I always end up shrugging my shoulders and saying, "I don't know." To so many of you, it probably does seem obvious. Of course, none of you have probably read through every shred of material I can get my hands on since the beginning of this whole mess. I read Jesus First/Daystar(NI!) and Concord and Consensus and on and on and on. I'll admit, the reason why I have trouble with deciding is I know too much. You pile so much information into one brain, and you find yourself processing so much information you don't know what to make of it. If any of you are as well read about the whole mess (I'd use another term, but this is a clean blog now), I'll listen to you. If not, I'll find some sort of reason to doubt your argument.

I've corrected the mistake I made.

Kieschnick Responds to Accusation of Voter Fraud At 2004 Convention

Member of BoD Responds to Pres. Kieschnick

Attorney Reports LCMS President's Article Filled with Contradictions

Nothing sucks more than getting sick. I fly to Alaska and back and it is just enough to weaken my immune system and allow me to catch a cold. I almost lost my lunch this afternoon, so I even left work early. I'm about to go to bed, unlike most Fridays when I stay up really late so I can talk to Elle. So, I ate some chicken soup and I'm off to bed. I'm in bad enough shape I didn't even bother going to the Y. It's probably from arguing too much with Anton.

Good night everyone.

As much as I love all the comments for this post, it is OK if you go to my girlfriend's blog and leave a comment there. I promise I won't beat you into a bloody pulp if you do.

The Wycliffe Bible Translators have been busy recently. Go see a sample of its new translation.

This is quite possibly the most serious poll I have ever presented on this blog. There has been presented a Solicitation to Join Class Action Lawsuit Against LCMS President. I have known this was coming for quite a while now because the BOD voted not to sue because they knew this suit was in the works. I'll let you all decide how you want to think about this, and I'll let you all in on my thoughts later.

I decided two weeks was just too long to allow everyone to vote on where I was. With that in mind, I'm letting the cat out of the bag tonight. First, if I were to pubcrawl across London, John H. would have heard from me and I would be posting about my exploits on Purpose Driven Drinking. Second, if I had gone to Belize, you would have known about it and I would have, again, posted my exploits on Purpose Driven Drinking. This leaves two possibilities: I was in Alaska meeting with a fellow Lutheran blogger or I was just lazy. As much as many of you want to believe I was just being lazy, I was in fact meeting a Lutheran blogger in Alaska. Intolerant Elle to be exact. I emailed her a little over five months ago and we've been emailing and Skyping each other ever since. Anyway, I went up to meet her and her family to see if we made any sense. I'm now sure we do. I'm sorry I've got a bad case of Chris Williams Syndrome, as Theresa so eloquently put it. My blogging has suffered because, well, I've been distracted. As far as I know, this is the first Lutheran Blog romance I know of, so this ought to be fun. Anyway, if you were wondering why my posting has decreased lately, you now know why. If you'll excuse me, I need to go create a new poll.

Guess what? The new poll is finally up, and it asks where I've been the past 10 days. I'm leaving this one up for two weeks, and you can vote daily. There are a few of you out there who do know where I was, so don't tell anyone. It would be even better if you didn't vote on the poll initially.

I know, I haven't updated in for 8 days, nearly tying my old record for not posting. I cannot promise that this blog will be updated as much as many of you would like, but I shall try. I'm still planning on doing hymn parodies, and I also plan on showing you all what I have been up to recently. Also, I have to reply to some of the concerns from my thoughts on the Lutheran blogsphere. I havn't had time to really think of how to reply.

Golly, I haven't posted in a while. I've decided that, for my birthday again this year, I will be writing new hymns using all my sarcastic wit to thrash the LCMS, David Benke, our SP, and all the usual targets (Purpose Driven Life, etc.) Anyway, I'll try to be a little more prompt in posting this next week. I do have more thoughts on the Lutheran blogsphere and other things. The poll will be changing soon, so look for that. I'm sorry I haven't posted much this past week.

Every once in a while, I try to reread everyone's blog, and it mainly occurs when I am looking for a past post that helps me with an argument of one sort or another. I was reviewing Confessing Evangelical because of an argument I started because of an innocent comment by someone (who shall remain anonymous) about going to a workshop that will teach about "blended" worship and other nonsense. I am not the best thinker on the fly and, after the discussion, I remembered John had written something about this topic that I thought I could use. For those who do not remember (or were not around), The Message, The Medium, and The Divine Service set off a comment spree which I am still not sure has ever been matched on his blog before or since. I implore all who think that it doesn't matter whether you drink beer from Styrofoam or a glass to read and think about what you are saying.

Every once in a while, I try to reread everyone's blog, and it mainly occurs when I am looking for a past post that helps me with an argument of one sort or another. I was reviewing Confessing Evangelical because of an argument I started because of an innocent comment by someone (who shall remain anonymous) about going to a workshop that will teach about "blended" worship and other nonsense. I am not the best thinker on the fly and, after the discussion, I remembered John had written something about this topic that I thought I could use. For those who do not remember (or were not around), The Message, The Medium, and The Divine Service set off a comment spree which I am still not sure has ever been matched on his blog before or since. I implore all who think that it doesn't matter whether you drink beer from Styrofoam or a glass to read and think about what you are saying.

The NFL Draft is on. The picks so far.

Alex Smith, QB--San Francisco
Ronnie Brown, RB--Miami
Braylon Edwards, WR--Cleveland
Cedric Benson, RB--Chicago

No one knows when everyone will go. So far, it is going how ESPN and the rest of the prognosticators foresaw. I'm waiting for the 12th pick and San Diego to see where they go.

One of the more amazing things about the blogsphere is its ability to self-check. If you say something stupid, you get called out eventually. If you say something that is true, the organic nature of the blogsphere allows that truth to be passed around. If you need an example of the latter process in action, the fall of Dan Rather is a good example of what happens when the blogsphere smells blood and pounces. Those who are skeptical about this idea need to look at the greater blogsphere and the examples that have been shown.

More than anything, however, catechesis has to be the basis of everything. As I mentioned in the comments, catechesis has a lot to be desired and, more than anything, if someone stumbles in here and just reads our opinions without any understanding of where we are coming from, we could be perceived as closed-minded jerks. When we explain why we think this way and why we believe what we believe, they may still think of us a closed-minded jerks but we can also convince someone we are right. We have to explain what doctrines are behind the conclusions we come, and people might come around to our way of thinking. Knowledge can be a very powerful weapon.

I think we should all read this. I've heard many of the big guys (Instapundit, for example) have nothing but good things to say about this book. I just might have to get a copy. It might help me formulate my thoughts into a central thesis about what the potential for a confessional Lutheran blogsphere is.

I actually do have a dream for the Lutheran blogsphrer in general and for it's application to the LCMS in particular. If anyone has kept up with the news (and I'm sure a few of you have), you have seen the power of blogs to spread stories quickly, to bring down the powerful, and to keep the powerful in check. Blogs continue to expose media bias, lying politicians, and crooked bureaucrats. The power of blogs have proven their merit in within secular politics.

So now, having seen that, I honestly have to wonder if it isn't a question of if but when will the Confessional Blogsphere come into its own? Could we become a force before the 2007 Convention? Let's face it, we were still feeling our way around when the 2004 Convention occurred. Currently, confessional dominate the LCMS blogsphere. I have honestly gone looking for a Jesus First/Daystar(Ni!) sympathizers out there, and I haven't found them yet. There is an opportunity here we cannot ignore. We have the potential to be a force to be reckoned with and become the hammer people like DP Benke and SP Kieshnick fear. This, my friends, is the potential that is out there. We already have the foundation. The discussion is already happening. I don't think we even have to do much of anything. All we have to do is keep it up and eventually this little corner of the blogsphere can take on a life of its own.

I just posted something on Here We Stand. I post so rarely there that I just have to point it out that I did post there.

Normally I'm not the type of person to promote movies, but I give this one a thumbs up. If it's as good as I hope it might be, it will be a great treat. The trailers look promising, so I say you ought to go check it out, with the caveat in mind that it won't match the book which didn't match the TV show which didn't match the radio show...

Confusing the water even more with a movie won't do any harm at all.

You are the Battle of Pearl Harbor sketch. You're
all about little old ladies fighting each other
in a muddy field. Sick freak.


Which Monty Python's Flying Circus Sketch are You?
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I bow down to your awesomeness. You truly are a
Knight of the Round Table, ready to defend
yourself against the Knights of Ni, use the
Holy Grenade of Antioch, and RUN
AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! from the horrible monster
of ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHH!! Or perhaps a
barber who truly desires to be a singing
lumberjack. Or better yet, you are Brian,
fighting off the misguided crowds and wondering
what on earth you did wrong to wind up singing
"Always Look on the Bright Side of
Life" while hanging on the cross. Well
whoever you choose all I have to say is Go
you!!!


How big of a Monty Python fan are you?
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Your Linguistic Profile:

65% General American English

10% Midwestern

10% Upper Midwestern

10% Yankee

5% Dixie

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

I continue to give a lot of thought about the whole Purpo$e Driven? phenomenon as it relates to the Lutheran Church. As I was thinking about it, I remembered an analogy my friend Vicar Ryan and I discussed as it relates to the whole Purpo$e Driven? thinking. The Purpo$e Driven? Life has many good things within it, but it is also loaded with false doctrine. The Purpo$e Driven? Life is like an apple laced with arsenic. Yes, the apple can contain nutrients that we need and can use, but the apple also contains poison. You eat too many apples laced with arsenic, and you eventually die. You let a little false doctrine in, and it can eventually kill your faith. It's not worth eating apples laced with arsenic when you can easily get apples without arsenic. It's not worth reading The Purpo$e Driven? Life when you have books like The Spirituality of the Cross, God at Work, and Dying to Live available. A little leaven ruins the whole lump.

It's the type of generic fluff evangelicalism that our current pope (Jerry I) wants to overrun our synod with. Let's face it, the LCMS is being overrun with this type of generic reformed thinking. I know of more than one church that did the 40 days of purpose?lessness over Lent. I have a hard enough time when pastors decide they know better and deviate from the lectionary, but to replace Lent with the 40 days of purpose?lessness is being a bad shepherd and any pastor who did such a thing should be forced to reread the Book of Concord again and reminded of what the heck he took an oath to actually preach, teach and confess.

Pastor Paul McCain has an article up about Cardinal Bernard Law celebrating a mass for JPII in St. Peter's Basilica. It makes me wonder if the Roman Catholic Church has learned anything from the priest abuse scandal? Anyway, go read it. In reality, Bernard Law should have been excommunicated, stripped of all his titles, and thrown in jail for conspiracy to commit abuse. Why the authorities in Boston haven't pressed charges yet, I don't know.

Political Correctness gone Mad

You scored as Spanish. You should learn Spanish. It can be useful especially if you live in the United States. Spanish 67% Arabic 47% French 40% Latin 33% English 27% Japanese 20% Chinese 13% What language should you learn? created with QuizFarm.com

Rank Item Percent
1: Lutheran (100%)
2: Eastern Orthodox (95%)
3: Roman Catholic (91%)
4: Anglican/Episcopal/Church of England (80%)
5: Presbyterian/Reformed (60%)
6: Church of Christ/Campbellite (48%)
7: Congregational/United Church of Christ (44%)
8: Baptist (Reformed/Particular/Calvinistic) (42%)
9: Methodist/Wesleyan/Nazarene (27%)
10: Pentecostal/Charismatic/Assemblies of God (26%)
11: Anabaptist (Mennonite/Quaker etc.) (15%)
12: Baptist (non-Calvinistic)/Plymouth Brethren/Fundamentalist (12%)
13: Seventh-Day Adventist (9%)

Christian Traditions Selector

I've added to more blogs to my blogroll. I'm desperately trying to have the most comprehensive list of confessional LCMS blogs out there, so if there's someone you know of that I don't have, drop me a comment or email me.

U2 is a good band, but I'm still kind iof stuck in the Joshua Tree era.

I have eliminated Twylah from my blogroll and mourn her leaving because who am I going to turn to now when I have ESL trouble?

My hatred of Coldplay merited a couple of comments, no matter what my stinking counter says (which is 1).

At some point not too long in the future, I will switch my comments from haloscan to blogger. I have to figure out how to transfer all that stuff from haloscan to blogger, however, because I don't want to lose any of my old comments (there are many I remember that are lost already) and I am tired of Haloscan's glitches.

Speaking of eliminations, if anyone would like to take Twylah's spot, it's open. If there is any confessional Lutheran out there with a blog I don't know about but you found me, leave me a link in the comments.

More bands I hate:

The Beatles
Hansen
Ashlee Simpson
Lifehouse


Band I like:

The Ramones
Metallica
Tourniquet
Alice Cooper

I promised a post on music I hate and I shall deliver right now.

I hate Coldplay. I find them to, quite possibly, be more annoying than Kenny G and that's saying a lot for me. I hate Coldplay because everyone thinks they are some sort of freaking geniuses when, in reality, they are a bunch of sniffling twits who couldn't write a song if Bach gave them lessons. Everybody thinks they are sooo great because of the keyboard-driven melodies and the "deep" lyrics. I could make better music with a can of beans and a six-pack of Schlitz.

I know many people are starting to wonder who the next Bishop of Rome may or may not be. Chris H. was kind enough to link to here where you can bet on who will become the next Bishop of Rome. You can even bet on what the next Bishop of Rome's name will be. You could look at this in one of two ways. The first way is as a discusting exercise that tramples on the grave of a man who isn't even buried yet. You could also look at this as a chance to get a grasp as to what popular opinion is thinking. People, who are rational, will not put money on someone they think will not win. So, it gives a view of popular opinion on this issue. It was kind of like the bets placed on who would be the next president last year. The degenerate gamblers thought Bush would win, and they turned out to be right.

24 is on tonight and it's supposed to be the most shocking and violent episode ever. That's saying a lot. I'm ready. It's only 20 minutes away. Yay!

The AP has just reported that the Bishop of Rome, John Paul II, had died.

So, I play a joke and none of you saw it, except Theresa maybe. Of course, the last practical joke also worked extremely well. It's not like this wasn't the most obvious thing in the world, a change in the Blog of the Week. You all missed my link to the Daily Kos as "Blog of the Week", one of the worst of the worst of leftist-spewing hate-filled bloggers that go around bevomiting forth upon the internet.

Rev. McCain has an excellent post on JPII. I do believe, of all the things we can say about the Bishop of Rome, he is actually teaching us his last lesson: how to die well. We don't see that lesson very often anymore. We need to see it more.

I decided not to do an April Fool's joke this year. I mean, it took way too much thought and way too much planning last year when I pulled of this joke, which went fairly well, IMHO. Anyway, the descision has been made not to pull any April Fool's stunts off on this blog. It would be foolish.

Terry Schivo is dead. Welcome to the end of civilization as we know it.

The law convicts and our dear friend, Alice Cooper, says it better than anyone.

For criminal acts and violence on the stage
For being a brat
Refusing to act your age
For all of the decent citizens you've enraged
You can go to Hell
For gambling and drinking alcohol constantly
For making us doubt our parents authority
For choosing to be a living obscenity
You can go to Hell
You're something that never should have happened
You even make your Grandma sick
You'd poison a blind man's dog and steal his cane
You'd gift wrap a leper
And mail him to your Aunt Jane
You'd even force-feed a diabetic a candy cane
You can go to Hell
You're something that never should have happened
You even make your Grandma sick
For criminal acts and violence on the stage
For being a brat
Refusing to act your age
For all of the decent citizens you've enraged
You can go to Hell

Until he repents, this is the message Michael Schivo must be confronted: the law, to the point where the gospel is withheld from being an option until true repentance is seen. Alice Cooper, I have found, does an excellent job at delivering the law with all its strength and might through music. Maybe someone should relentlessly play Brutal Planet and Dragontown to him until he repents.

What does this do to us as a society? It brings us one step closer to completely devaluing human life and brings us one step closer to the fascist state people so desperately want. All it takes is a peek into history and see where the path we are now treading leads, and thy name is eugenics. Josh has it right when he says we are heading to Brave New World.

Guide us waking O Lord
And Guard us sleeping
That awake we may watch with Christ
And asleep we may rest in peace

I have wanted to post for a while about all the music I really hate. I just keep forgetting about it. I'll probably post it tonight, and I'm posting this as reminder to myself to post about all the people, groups, and bands I hate.