For behold, the day is coming, burning like an oven, when all the arrogant and all evildoers will be stubble. The day that is coming shall set them Ablaze (TM), says the LORD of hosts, so that it will leave them neither root nor branch.--Malachi 6:1 (ESV, slightly revised)

I found this reading this past Sunday to be quite ironic considering the state of this buerocracy we mistake for a synod. However, this leads me right into another point: interpreting scripture in light of recent events, which is exactly what I did above. Premillennial Dispensationalism often uses this ridiculous hermenutic to interpret scripture as unfolding before our eyes rather than looking at scripture Christologically.

Rob and Devona won.

Posting will be light until I can get my brother to help me reformat the hard drive and reload winblows.

The new (and promised) quiz is up.

My computer went kaput today. It doesn't recognize the internet, if you can get it to boot up.

The vote was close, but Love and Blunder has pulled into a comfortable lead.

I've lost 10.5 pounds of fat this past month. I've only lost 8 pounds, however, which means I'm starting to bulk up. Hell Yeah!

I'm sore, but life is good.

Will I cheat and vote for myself every day? I won't, but is that really cheating?


No, it's not cheating because I allow everyone to vote once every day.

Do the voters have to be human?

If they can use a mouse well enough to vote, who says they have to be human. I might let my cat vote.

And how long are the polls open?

The poll shall be open until this Sunday evening (when I get to change the question to "who do you think will play in the Orange Bowl?")

And one more thing...how am I supposed to compete with a baby as cute as Olivia ?

Being that it is 20-18-2, I think you are competing.

Update: The current voting is 17-11-0 with Love and Blunder ahead of Intolerant Elle who is ahead of St. Stephen who will probably get promoted once he posts a picture of his new child which isn't here yet. Yassar Arafat is dead and it is Veteran's day. Read this.

Remember, you can vote once every day. Hell, I know the weaknesses of these polls and, if I really wanted to (I don't), I could swing this election really easily.

Will Love and Blunder win out? Will the WELS crowd come out in force or will the LCMS' numbers just be too much? Will the whole state of Alaska vote? Will a Patriarch find his way to this site and give Karl's blog one lousy vote?

While I am busy saying "Happy Birthday", happy birthday to the Marine Corps.

I lasted as long as I could. Really. The problem is politics is not anywhere near out of my blood. When you find an opinion piece like this, you just have to post it so you can turn all things political orthodoxy on its head.

The more progressive candidate won

Happy Birthday Martin

Thank you for participating in the previous poll. Rock music may have won, but the official music of this blog is digeridoo music.

I now want you to vote for three possible blog of the week candidates. I promise whoever you vote for shall rise (or remain, in one case) to the Blog of the Week spot. All three are worthy canidates. You are only allowed, however, to campaign for your own blogs on your own blogs. Other bloggers (we'll call them 527 blogs for lack of a better term) are allowed to campaign for you in the comments section on my blog and anywhere else they feel like. If you don't like this, you can thank the senior senator from Arizona for this.

Happy Birthday Martin

Tomorow shall be the last day you can vote in my letest poll. Send your favorite music over the top. Have your favorite pull away. This is your last chance to vote before I change the poll to a new topic.

Strange Women Lying in Ponds and Castle Argghhh! are now part of my blogroll. The first link I linked to a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away and the second link is inspired by the same movie that the first link was inspired by.

I'm waiting for a blog to be named Castle Anthrax.

Why do people persist in beating dead horses when, to be honest, things are out of control and there is nothing we can honestly do except pray and hope God has mercy upon us? I really don't get it.

After much thought and contemplation, The Terrible Swede will stay under a state of Kool-Aid until he ceases to be the World's Largest Filipino. I am taller than him, I am slimmer than him, and I now know I can outrun him. I am a cheetah compared to him at this moment. I can run miles and miles without breathing heavy or breaking a sweat.

I started working out again about six and a half weeks ago and I feel so much better. Much of the chest pains have disappeared and I've found myself to have more energy that I once did. I just overall feel better. I just hope I can get down under 200 soon. After that, 180 will be calling.

While temptations surround me every day, I shall not succumb. I shall not blog about national politics.

Suspicions grow that Arafat is dying of AIDS

Who knows if this is true or not. This explanation, however, best fits his symptoms.

I hate being patient. Last year, quite a few of us all got together and watched FoTR and TTT extended editions in one swoop. That was fun, but we all suffered. Once RoTK is out (in extended edition, of course), we shall all reconvene and watch all three movies in one long day. The extended edition of RoTK adds another 50 minutes to a movie already pushing four hours. This is going to be a twelve hour day (at least) watching one movie. Yes, all three movies are just one enormous movie that had to be broken up so you don't go insane in a movie theater for twelve hours. Well, we're going to voluntarily inflict this upon ourselves. Yes, my friends and I are insane.

Now that the election is over and things politically have settled down, I can get back to the reason why I originally started blogging in the first place: taking an axe to the LCMS bureaucracy. I know it has been a while and some of my newer readers may not have realized it, but this blog's primary mission is criticize the power structure in the hope that, well, I'm not sure what I am hoping for.

So, has anything gone on while I have been in full I dislike Kerry mode? Lots has happened! There have been three conferences in the past month to discuss what the next move will be for us confessionals. We should know what's happening within the next few months.

LCMS 2004: Losing Its Reformation Heritage

Another view of the Chicago Conference

Still Another View of the Chicago Conference

Still Yet Another View From Chicago

LCMS Ignores Request To Follow Congregational Constitutions

Bolland Writes: "Its Time To Leave [LCMS]" RN Replies

You have a point, though I would argue it was YOU who put the gay marriage stuff on the ballot to create a wedge issue to get Bush elected.

I shall be nice responding to this. If I remember correctly (and I believe I am), it was the Massachusetts Supreme Court's decision who brought this out on the table. The fact that the Republicans reacted to this event is to be expected. The simple fact is, however, that if the Massachusetts Supreme Court doesn't make that ruling, no initiatives are on the ballot and gay marriage isn't a major issue this election.

I give the award for the best election coverage by a Lutheran Blogger goes to:

Intollerant Elle

with a close second to:

Kiihnworld.

By the way, someone should explain to Democrats that if you put 11 gay marrage initiatives on the ballot, you're going to bring the right out with a vengence. Chris wondered what happened. That was part of it.

I was going to post Johann Gerhard's meditation "The Daily Consideration of Death" tonight but I just do not have the time. My bed calls.

Get out and vote people!

I know along with the national election, there are all sorts of state and local elections and issues you also need to vote on. Here in my hometown there's an issue of a new arena. I know there is everything from Constitutional Ammendments for states to just bond issues for schools. Vote once! Vote legally!

Turnout is high. I waited in line for an hour and ten minutes.

And, while you're at it, keep voting on my little poll.

I shall post one final anti-Kerry article (actually, an article on any politician that "personally opposes abortion but will not force their views upon others") before leaving the election in God's hands. Tomorrow, expect a post on death on the day of the Commemoration of the Faithful departed. If you want election coverage, go to the Command Post. I'm going to be too busy teaching Geological terms to people who can't speak English.

Unimposing Kerry

The new version of Lark News is up.

College offers degree in pastor's wiving. This is getting too close to reality...

Clowns-4-Christ strikes deal with 'desperate' WNBA.

... Thus, regardless of all the arguments of both candidates the main problem is that President Bush now represents a symbol of defiance against the terrorists and it is a fact, that all the enemies of America, with the terrorists foremost, are hoping for him to be deposed in the upcoming elections. That is not to say that they like the democrats, but that they will take such an outcome as retreat by the American people, and will consequently be greatly encouraged to intensify their assault. The outcome here on the ground in Iraq seems to be almost obvious. In case President Bush loses the election there would be a massive upsurge of violence, in the belief, rightly or wrongly, by the enemy, that the new leadership is more likely to “cut and run” to use the phrase frequently used by some of my readers. And they would try to inflict as heavy casualties as possible on the American forces to bring about a retreat and withdrawal. It is crucial for them to remove this insurmountable obstacle which stands in their way. They fully realize that with continued American and allies’ commitment, they have no hope of achieving anything.

Read what an Iraqi has to say about the election

(via Right Wing News

Kerry's "Honorable" Discharge wasn't quite so honorable

One more reason not to vote for Kerry. If he was not honorably discharged as an officer, he isn't qualified to run the drive-thru window at a Taco Bell let alone the Presidency.

I have now added three new political links to my blog.

IMAO: Unfair. Unbalanced. Unmedicated.

I've been reading Frank J.'s blog for quite a while. All I can say is that he is very funny and completely insane and completely right.

Moxie

Cute and hates liberals. A killer combo.

Michelle Malkin

One of the best commentators on why protecting our borders matter.

I made some comments on an internet board I frequent when the topic came up on the misuse of the law. Since many of the people were impressed by what I had to say (I was surprised at how well my comments were accepted, to be honest), I decided to reproduce my short comments (slightly edited to correct the typos) to see how you all like them.

Much of the problem, IMHO, stems from the twisting by many of what it means to be a Christian. Does it means we live as better people? No. Does it mean we are happier than the world? No. Often, we are just as miserable and struggle with the same problems the world faces. Rain falls on the just and unjust alike. What then drives the Christian? The Cross. The Christian whose life is centered around the cross is the Christian who gets it. The cross is where forgiveness of sins take place, so there must be repentance. Christianity, being centered around the cross, is best and most powerfully expressed through the repentant life, not the "victorious" life.

Kerry's October surprise

This has commentary on the link I listed bellow as The Smoking Gun. These documents prove that the North Vienamese were running the antiwar movement in this country (no surprise since the communist front group A.N.S.W.E.R. is behind most of the antiwar demonstrations since 9-11). Kerry was involved with these groups and attended more than one meeting while still a Naval Reservist.

The documents -- which actually LOOK like they came from the 1970s and not from a Microsoft Word program -- were found at the Vietnam Center at Texas Tech University in Lubbock and reproduced from captured communist records. These documents have been PROVEN 100 percent authentic BEFORE their release, unlike those 60 Minutes National Guard documents that CBS refuses to investigate. They show that Madame Nguyen Thi Binh, the Viet Cong provisional governor of South Vietnam at the Paris Peace Talks, delivered a plan from Le Duc Tho -- Ho Chi Minh's second in command -- for American anti-war activities that anti-war protesters followed to the letter.

...

Shortly after Kerry returned from the talks he delivered Madame Binh's peace proposal through a press conference on July 22, 1971. He did so with veterans' families around him, a tactic that was suggested by the communists. However, he said he only attended the peace talks because he was on his honeymoon in Paris.

There are two problems, Hanoi John met twice, and possibly thrice, with communist officials in Paris. Also, his honeymoon was spent at the Jamaica home of the Pershing family with then (other) heiress wife, Julia Thorne, in 1970. I suppose Paris was a second honeymoon.

Kerry had also met illegally with Binh in 1970 while he was still a Naval officer on inactive reserve status, and in fact, all his meetings were under the six-year window of the term of his enlistment. This precludes him from even running for elective office, much less president, but nobody is mentioning it for some reason. Amendment 14, Section 3 states: "No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice-president, having previously taken an oath to support the Constitution of the United States, [who has] engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof."

So, if you vote for Kerry, you are voting for a man who is not only ineligible for the Office of the Presidency, but he is also a traitor. Right now, he should be facing a court of law for what he did, not running for President. A vote for Kerry is a vote against the rule of law. A vote for Kerry is a vote for Benedict Arnold.

A new documentary we should all want to see. This ought to give Moore a run for his money.

Speaking of Moore, Osama was using Moore's points from Fahrenheit 911. It just goes to prove which side the radical left is actually on.

Tax hypocrisy
. One more reason why I think Kerry is a janiform timeserver.

While I'm on this screed, I think everyone should read Eros Colored Glasses.

Time to let off more steam.

Most decorated U.S. vet: Kerry a 'Benedict Arnold'

Kerry's religious references

WHY THE LEFT DOESN'T CARE THAT KERRY IS A PROVEN LIAR

And finally, The Smoking Gun

This Just In—Kerry's IQ Likely Lower than Bush's!

Vote or Die (mov file)

via Joshua Claybourn

Blogger's Head Explodes

Tonight, the inevitable finally happened in class. I was helping our students go through a 911 call because, well, they need to learn what to say in case of an emergency. We had one student making the call with another student pretending to be the 911 operator. The call went something like this.

Student 1: Hello, 911
Student 2: There is a fire in where?
Teacher : in my house
Student 2: There is a fire in my house.
Student 1: Ummm, O shit!
Women in class: (Shocked expression on their faces)
Me: I will send
Student 1: I will send
Me: a firetruck
Student 1: a firetruck.

So it goes in ESL. Student one is now in a pile of mierda con su esposa.

This reminded me of an interesting fact. Did you know the words shit and schism both are derived from a common ancestor?

Schism

Shit

English is such a strange language.

One less person voting for Kerry. You know, I might consider voting for a pro-life Democrat, but all the party has proved to me is that it is full of criminals like this guy.

"Bring out your dead! We need them to vote!" Democratic Operative.

Here we are, on the brink, possibly, of electing a self-confessed war criminal to the Oval Office -- a man who, as an American officer, parlayed with the enemy, and... nothing. No questions, no stories. No thoughts, no curiosity. We contemplate a new wartime leader whose political epiphany -- the famous Christmas in Cambodia, "seared, seared" into Mr. Kerry's memory -- never happened. Questions, stories in the MSM? Not a one. We consider trusting our very lives to a man who has consistently hewed to the wrong side of history, favoring appeasement and disarmament over democratic principle and strength, but we know nothing of his current thinking on those old positions.

The Whole Article

If you've wondered where I went, I didn't go anywhere. I just haven't had the chance to sit down at a computer to try to contemplate the secrets of the universe.

The poll is going exactly as I predicted it would (in my own mind). My faithful readers (all ten of you, perhaps) have not voted every day and often. If you haven't voted again today, you might as well. Classical music looked like it might catch Rock music there for a while, but Rock music has pulled out to a comfortable lead. Jazz now has two votes, and good old country music has no fans on this blog. Well, it has one, but that one doesn't vote on his own polls.

It's T-minus seven days until the election and T-minus eight days until the lawsuits.

I have to get back to work.

Enough national politics. Let's drag ourselves back to LCMS politics!

ON THE WAY TO EPISCOPÉ: RESOLUTION 8-01A OF THE 2004 LC-MS CONVENTION IN THE LIGHT OF SYNODICAL HISTORY (PDF)

The Future of Confessional Lutheranism: A Summary

The Service of Women in Congregational Offices, 1969 to 2004

LIFE IN THE POST 2004 CONVENTION ERA: A PASTOR’S PERSPECTIVE

Life in the Post – 2004 Convention Era – A View from the Pew

HOW TWO MISSOURI SYNOD LEADERS HANDLED FALSE DOCTRINE AND DISSENT IN THE TWENTIETH CENTURY: FRANCIS PIEPER AND JOHN BEHNKEN

In Statu Confessionis: Origins and Development

DISSENT: WHAT ARE OUR OPTIONS?

More Democratic hypocricy

Now the Patriot Act isn't tough Enough

The Democratic Party is showing its true colors again

More Democratic Fun

More honesty in the modern Deocratic Party

I watched as Kerry spoke Spanish in the news today and I about fell over laughing. I needed to see some good comedy from Kerry. Most of the time I just get sick when I see him.

I found the link

On November 2, the entire civilised world will be praying, praying Bush loses. And Sod's law dictates he'll probably win, thereby disproving the existence of God once and for all. The world will endure four more years of idiocy, arrogance and unwarranted bloodshed, with no benevolent deity to watch over and save us. John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, John Hinckley Jr - where are you now that we need you?

I would give you the link from where I found this gem, but The Guardian deleted the article and the link no longer exists. The Corner and Instapundit were on it like flies on a garbage can. Are people this stupid? This is one of the most outrageous things I have ever read! You wonder why I will never go left? Sentiments like this will keep me solidly conservative. Thank you, Guardian. Honestly, while I have been defending Bush, I've given serious thought to voting for Peroutka because Bush isn't exactly my kind of conservative. He's spent huge amounts of money on Education and other social programs when we would all be better off eliminating the Department of Education since education should be a local issue rather than a national issue. However, the continued ad homenin attacks and ludicrous statements continuing to emanate from the fascist left (repetitive, I know) are driving me to vote Republican just to piss the left off. So, I am now announcing I am giving the left the middle finger and voting for Bush even though he'll take Kansas anyway. I probably would have broken down and voted for Bush soon anyway, but I would like to thank The Guardian for helping solidify my mind.

Saddam Hussein's Philanthropy of Terror

Congratulations to Rob and Devona!!!! In celebration of the wonderful gift God has given them, Love and Blunder is now the Blog of the Week! They will soon learn the same lesson Chris Burgwald learned: blogging and babies don't mix. Congratulations once again!

I am at the point now that I can't look at John Kerry without getting a pit in my stomach and wanting to poke my own eyes out. John Edwards is no better. All I see of him is a guy who probably is now killing more people than they are saving. Both of these men make me want to vomit.

Look Inside Kerry's Mind and You Find a "False Personality"

If Kerry wins, Clint and Chris can look forward to four years of Upper Class Twit of the Year jokes.

Liberation Online: A look at Iraq's bloggers

I have put up a new poll for everyone to vote on. Too many of you wanted to see my beer belly. This poll is to see what kind of taste (or lack thereof) you all (my readers) have. Thus, on this poll, even if you do not comment, if you just drop by every once in a while, if you decide to never read my blog again, you must vote in this poll! You will determine the probable music for this blog in the future! Vote Early! Vote Often!

I have a new political party which I fully support.

The Guns and Dope Party

If that isn't your taste in politics, try:

The Neowhig Party

A quote from their manifesto:

Looking good on camera does not make one an expert at anything (except looking good on camera). The combined IQ of Hollywood is less than the total number of teeth of three randomly selected West Virginians.

So neither of those parties really reflect your thoughts on politics. Here's another party to consider:

The Feline Party

Alright, here's another party for your consideration:

The Party Party

Hmmmmm

The Pushy Party

Thermodynamic Law Party

And, because you are asking for it:

The Monster Raving Looney Party of the United States

I have a new poll up for everyone to vote on. Have fun!

By the way, I have enabled the poll such that you can vote every 24 hours if you really want to. Remeber the Democrat's motto: "Vote Early! Vote Often!"

Why I Shall Remain a Republican.

Go see "Team America." The many negative reviews it is getting is because it hits the left very hard. This movie starts out by prentending to kick the right in the balls but ends by, well, I won't say. Let me just say that the end was one of the clearest explanations of why we have to fight the war on terrorism (even in Iraq) I have ever heard. You see, there are three types of people in this world. There are ..., forget it. If I went through the whole thing, I would violate my own rules. Go see the movie. It's funny.

Read Rodger Simon's take on it while you're bored.

I've rearranged my blogroll (once again) and added a poll asking a simple question. I've moved the ELCE blogs up on my blogroll for the simple fact that we are in altar and pulpit fellowship and WELS isn't.

If you fell on my blogroll, it's simply because you are not posting enough! Post and you shall rise!

In the grand tradition of what happens when I place blogs on my blogroll, IntollerantElle has not posted anything since being added to my blogroll.

Brian deep-sixed his blog, and Tentatio's blog has just vanished into thin air. Bummer.

I am not exactly the perfect picture of health. My blood pressure has risen, my chest aches sometimes, and my liver enzymes are still a little higher than they should be. So, what do I do? I take it out on the elliptical machine.

Yes, I am working out on a regular basis. In two and a half weeks, my blood pressure is beginning to fall, my chest still hurts sometimes (that has more to do with what I eat than anything) and my liver enzymes are, well, they are still elevated. I might have to go to the health food store and find something to purge my liver. Then again, the fact that I recently began cutting all the junk out of my diet might help some.

I have just become aware of a new webgroup that has sprung up. It is called Orthodox-Lutheran Dialogue. They are looking for both Lutherans and Eastern Orthodox participants to discuss theology civilly. If you are interested, check it out.

Why am I unable to spell today? I sit here and read my post I made this morning and I sit there and read my reply to Norma and I squirm because I see my spelling errors. I need an editor. I can only pay this person in beer, however.

The bellow post is what you get when you are being distracted by something like, say, a baseball game. The sentance should read, "Why subject myself to that torture when I already know who I am going to vote for and no performance in a debate by either candidate is going to change my mind about that and there are perfectly good baseball games to watch."

I am extremely proud to say that I have watched, in total, approximately three minutes of all four debates. Why subject myself to that torture when I already know who I am going to vote for and no performance in a debate by either candidate and there are perfectly good baseball games to watch. What is more interesting to me, however, is how people react to the debate. So, I'll spend the next few days reading the spin and seeing what the internet says.

I went back to Norma's home church website. I decided I was going to test the orthodoxy of this church by putting in three simple words. See what the results are!

This is further evidence of my contention that her congregation isn't really all that Lutheran.

This all may sound to some people as me being a whinny little Gen-Xer who is still a little immature. That is true of other things (my obsessions with Monty Python and Beer are the two most obvious) but once we begin treading into the realm of theology, I become very serious. Much of the reason why I am so silly sometimes is because I carry scars. They are very visible if you ever meet me. It's hard to miss the biggest scar on the right side of my face, a reminder every day of a six-year old's world turned upside-down. There are many people who poo-poo plastic surgery. Most people think of plastic surgery as something unnecessary, something done to reverse age or to lose weight, not realizing plastic surgery is sometimes necessary. Being the recipient of such a case, I have nothing but gratitude for plastic surgeons. That's besides the point, however. The point is when I need to become serious, I am very serious. I've had too much crap happen too early in my life for me not to be. I take theology very seriously and I take Christian Freedom very seriously. It's no secret that I have problems with the ELCA. Orthodoxy is lacking within the ELCA. UALC is just a different expression of that heterodoxy. Normally, heterodoxy is expressed through relying on historical-criticism and reinterpreting scripture in light of the modern culture. The UALC buys into the modern notion of Protestantism at the expense of the cathlicity of Lutheranism. It's kind of like replacing a good, balanced meal with a bowl of sugar. Sure, you can survive temporarily on that but you sure wouldn't want that diet for the long run. Programs dominate when Word and Sacrament should. Honestly, I feel bad that people get suckered by this.

I have a lot of to discuss. I shall discuss these things in no particular order.

#1--OU wins. Texas still sucks.

#2--Beerfest was an amazing event once again. The Swede, our friend Jeff, and I all attended. We arrived early and had a good place in line. Last year, we were stuck in the middle of nowhere and it took us over 10 minutes to get into the venue. This year, we were in within a couple of minutes of the doors opening. Ron went hunting to see where the "Cooking with Beer" and "Lager tasting" events. Jeff and I went hunting to see if, like last year, there would be a tasting for the Sam Adams Millennium beer. Nope. We found Ron, who repeatedly said he would pace himself after last year, working on his second beer 10 minutes into this thing. What you did was bounce from one large table to the next drinking ~6 FL oz of beer each time. I decided that I was going to try beers that I had never drank before. That, however, was more difficult than I realized. When you start bouncing from table to table, you realize what you have tried and what you haven't. I've tried a lot of different beers. I drank a bottle of water before even thinking about drinking a beer. By the point my lips first tasted porter, Ron had already consumed 5 drinks. Jeff had just finished his second. So much for pacing ourselves. I finished my second drink (a dark cider reminiscent of the song Johnny Jump Up) when we went to the "cooking with Beer" seminar. It was informative and I had the chance to try a couple of recipes that use beer. After that, I kept pacing myself and I tried more beers. During this time, Jeff quit drinking (he had to drive us home) while Ron suddenly began paying for the binging. We attended the Lager seminar which was led by Lew Bryson, who is considered a God in the beer world. We tasted (much smaller samples) 5 different lagers and learned some of the differences between lagers and ales. Ales are like a rainforest, which has many different types of trees verses lagers which are like the black forest which just has one tree. Ales have many flavors while lagers are much milder and much more subtle. We tasted many lagers starting at Budweiser all the way up to a strong Double Bock which begins taking on some of the characteristics of ales. After the talk, I went hunting for more beer while Jeff and Ron drank water and tried to sober up. While I was busy, the two saw a woman who was wearing a v-cut. It seemed like she was about to explode. During all of this, a group of cute women were pinching each other in the butt. I returned to see the spectacles around us. I went away to find Jeff talking with a couple of his coworkers. We finally returned home. While going home, a conversation ensued.

Ron: There was a lot of cute girls there.
Me: All of the cute girls had boyfriends.
Ron: No, there were a few cute girls without any men with them.
Me: Yeah, but they were playing grabass with each other.

You had to be there.

#3--IntollerantElle joins my blogroll under the proper label- WELS/ELS.

#4--I had more blood removed this morning to rerun my liver enzymes.

#5--Working out on elliptical machines is one way to inadvertently surround yourself with women. Yes, that happened this morning. The plan I am on calls for one week on the treadmill, one week on the bikes and one week on the elliptical machines.

You've judged a Lutheran congregation with 3 campuses and 9 services by my comment about your beer? That's quite a leap.

Actually, your congregation website had a lot to do with my judgment along with confirmation from a gentleman who also happens to live in your area.

Does anybody know why this is an important day? Anyone? Anyone? Today is the 35th Anniversary of the first airing of the first episode of Monty Python's flying Circus. Dead Parrots will never be the same.

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(The owner does not respond.)

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?

Owner: What do you mean "miss"?

Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

Owner: We're closin' for lunch.

Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.

Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

Mr. Praline: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

Mr. Praline: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you
show...

(owner hits the cage)

Owner: There, he moved!

Mr. Praline: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!

Owner: I never!!

Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!

Owner: I never, never did anything...

Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.

Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!

Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?

Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.

Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour
ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the
first place was that it had been NAILED there.

(pause)

Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and
VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

Owner: No no! 'E's pining!

Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e
rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the
bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

(pause)

Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh,
we're right out of parrots.

Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.

Owner: I got a slug.

(pause)

Mr. Praline: Pray, does it talk?

Owner: Nnnnot really.

Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?

Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)

Mr. Praline: Well.

(pause)

Owner: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?

Mr. Praline: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.

The blog of the week, once again, has changed. Thomas took it away from Chris by posting a quote from P.J. O'Rourke, one of my favorite authors period.

Who is Norma?

I was curious about this Lutheran Church this lady Norma is attending, so I began hunting. I went hunting because I have heard of just about every podunk synod that exists in the US. Before I went chasing my tail, however, I checked the LCMS website (link provided in my blogroll under Lutheran Links). There is a handy directory that I use to keep track of churchworkers I know and send them the occasional harassing e-mail (j/k). Nothing there. I check on the ELCA website. Here's a piece of good news. You scroll down towards the bottom, you see this link. Norma is a member of an ELCA congregation. Now, I don't hold this against someone. Chris made my blog of the week and I still link to the Lutheran Confessions site even when I dislike many of the political views expressed on those sites. In reality, as long as you have a sense of humor, I really could care less. What maddened me, however, at Norma is that she seems to be a part of the humorless sect of the ELCA, which is quite large. Her church seems to be conservative, but conservative in the American Evangelical sense rather than a Lutheran sense. I find no mention of the confessions, but plenty of mentions of the Purpose Driven Fad. Their statement on worship was violently ripped from the pages of Rick Warren's shite-ridden masterpiece. It's a statement that doesn't even begin to cover what Lutheran worship actually is and turns the whole concept of the Divine service on its head. Another gem is the statement, "In the pages of these 66 books..." Alarm bells start going off with this gem. Anytime any Lutheran congregation begins defining what is and isn't in the Bible, Calvinism alerts go off. I could give other examples of the rampant pietism running through this congregation, but the above two should suffice.

From the single comment Norma left, I can say there is a high probability that the pietism that affects this congregation has rubbed off onto her.

Right War, Right Place, Right Time: Kerry is wrong: Iraq is central to defeating al Qaeda

Here are a couple more links for us all to ponder.

MoveOnPlease.Org-- Who knew National Lampoon could satirize the left since P.J. O'Rourke left.

Logical fallacies-- Any major fallacy you can think of is here plus many more you may not have realized. Everyone will benefit from this.

In case you haven't found your way to The Holy Observer, you've missed this crucial article. CBS News Claims Documents Disprove Christ's Resurrection: Authenticity of Purported Memoirs of Thomas the Disciple Under Fierce Attack.

I asked Norma to take me off her blogroll a while back. It hasn't happened. I happen to think she's just a pietist trying to scare up the ghost of Philip Jacob Spener. It's not that Spener shoudn't be scared up on occasion, but right now, Spener is almost overruning Lutheranism (the conventicle liveth) while Luther, Chemnitz, and Bach are all scratching their heads wondering what happened. Luther wanted to haunt the papacy after he died. Luther needs to reconsider this statement and begin scaring the crap out of certain people within the LCMS. Anyway, it wouldn't surprise me if she didn't know who Spener was. Sad.

I haven't written much about theology lately. There have been other important things vying for my attention. So, to completely make up for a lack of discussion of theology, I give you all these links to ponder.

Why Is the Lutheran Church a Liturgical Church?

Martin Chemnitz on Rites and Ceremonies

How Festivals Are Observed in Our Churches in the Fear of God

Exhortation to Communicants

Deathly Evangelism: Guilty of False Advertising

Ecumenism: Facts and Illusions

On Lay Readers

The neatest thing I've done so far teaching ESL happened tonight. Jesus and Belen brought their daughters with them to ESL and the lady who normally teaches the children was sent home early. I had the pleasure of teaching their daughters English. What is neat about teaching kids English is that progress happens much more rapidly. It's not like adults which take weeks or months to see progress. I saw progress in less than one hour. They were like spounges soaking up the information. They were polite almost to a fault. I do hope at some point in the future I get to teach these kids again.

I don't know how many of you have looked through the 117 LCMS-related blogs on Xanga. I've looked through quite a few of them. I do have to say this. I hope most of these people mature some soon. I started my trip from the happy-clappy Lutheran to orthodoxy at 18 and I didn't really start to get it until I was 22 and started reading the Book of Concord. The confessions are a dangerous thing in the hands of someone with lots of questions about what exactly we believe. Hopefully, most of these bloggers will grow up.

A couple of quick points before I fall asleep and drool all over the computer.

First, my posts on beer shall wait until after Beerfest. I need to see what's new in the world of beer before writing about the topic.

Secondly, Xanga hosts a whopping 112 blogs by LCMS Lutherans.

Finally, no habla.

Retired Colonel: Bush Volunteered for Vietnam

Mt St. Helens is restless once again.

I haven't blogged on geology for a while, but I can tell you this: when the epicenter is less than a mile below the surface, all geologists take notice.

The Phenomenon of Matt is another new member of the WELS family.

I posted a sermon on the long blog.

Welcome Brian Braatz to my blogroll. He earned a spot due to the recommendation of Theresa. He definitely has potential. I might have to try to convince Josh to let him join Here We Stand.

I have mentioned many times that I do have one pet peeve: commenting on anything except what a given post is about. If you want to say "nice blog" or "I don't like your blog," that's what I have e-mail for. Don't jam up my comments with complaints.

What is it with Lutherans and beer?

We're German.

Here I'm trying to run a nice clean "dry" blogroll, and every time to click to you, I get alcohol references.

Then don't have me on your blogroll. I am not dry. I like beer. I drink beer in moderation. I occasionally write about beer.

If I could find another interesting Lutheran, you'd be history!

Read my blogroll. There are plenty of interesting Lutherans there to choose from.

I've never tasted beer, it stinks too bad, but I've known beer alcoholics.

Really? I'm directly related to three alcoholics and I know of two more within my family. I've seen AA meetings. I also know that alcohol consumption does not automatically equal alcoholic.

Surely Lutherans can find better things to talk about.

When have I talked about alcohol recently? Oh, that's right. I haven't. It's mentioned in my blogroll, it's shown with the beergals (of course, the whole Oktoberfest theme goes right over your head), and I mention it occasionally. The last time I mentioned alcohol was to advise Chris H. on a choice of alcohol for his 21st Birthday. The time before that was in a piece of satire aimed at my own synod. I even satirized my own former obsession with talking about alcohol.

You would have been better off not complaining because I will ignore the presidential campaign and go into all alcohol all the time mode because of this. Teetotalers have bound too many people's consciences by making the freedom of the Christian into law. Where does God say, "you shall not drink?" Why did Jesus turn water into wine if alcohol was bad?

If I didn't give you enough reason to remove me from your blogroll, here's the last one. Norma, do you and me a favor and remove me from your blogroll please.

Michael Moore: Truthteller.

Of course I'me being sarcastic. The day Michael Moore bothers to tell the truth he'll probably keel over in cardiac arrest and die.

Kieschnick Urged Werning to Charge Cascione On Definition of God

Werning VS Cascione Issue

Exit Letter From LCMS Congregation To Kieschnick and COP

Discussion of Ballot - Amendment A

Someone who is more familiar than I am with the heresy of modalism might want to check the first two links and see if they think that Werning is a modalist.

How to make friends and influence people.

1) Badmouth Australia.
2) Badmouth the rest of the partners in the war.
3) Contradict the leader of the country you're trying to rebuild.

Yep. That's leadership you can count on to build a coalition to fight a war. Vote for John "Dunderwhelp" Kerry.

When teaching ESL, you never know what will work and what will not work. Tonight, I told my students I was crazy and we all read Dr. Seuss. One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish is a hit. What can I say but it is all dumb luck. I figured whatever we could use to work on vocabulary would be OK, and we spent time reading this book and explaining the various words within. With beginners, reading these books seems to help. The pictures help overcome language barriers and the rhyming helps in memorization. I'll pull out another book soon for us to read. Green Eggs and Ham cannot be far behind.

You can now see that the blog of the week has changed. I changed it to Chris H. in celebration of him turning 21. Happy Birthday! Just don't overdo it and drink a lot of water before going to bed to avoid the nasty hangover.

Once upon a time, a blogger said he would be more mature. This blogger then realized that he had bouts of maturity followed by thoughts which can only be described as absolutely stupidity. I vacillate between what would be called normalcy and insanity.

Michigan Congregation Declares Independence From LCMS

Congregation Leaves LCMS Over CCM Violation of Constitution

Numerous Contradictions at 2004 LCMS Convention

Minority Objections to Resolution 1-04 of 2004 Convention

Letter About Constitutional Amendment A

In high school, I had a history teacher that would tell us to, "Ponder the secrets of the universe." I went walking today and did just that. I came up with one conclusion.

"Whoever smelt it dealt it."

In a rare bout of insanity (maybe I mean sanity), I ask the readers of my blog for a little advice. First, I wonder if anybody knows of a good, one volume history of England. Secondly, I would like to find the same thing except for Germany rather than England. I am quite deficient in the histories of these two countries and I would like to at least begin plugging those deficiencies.

One concept I have had trouble trying to understand is the idea of the case and what function casing in language provides. I have been reading about the history of the English language. Old English has four cases and, I guess because of the cases, sentence structure wasn't all that important whereas, because Modern English (and Middle English) lost its casing (for the most part), sentence structure is extremely important. I'm going to see if I can get this casing thing straight in my mind.

Gender-neutral language is a crock for many reasons. The first is simple: English, at its core, is a Germanic language and has three genders: male, female, and neuter. Many of the male and female words have vanished as English has evolved. English, in many ways, is already gender-neutral. Secondly, the only words used on a regular basis that are not gender-neutral are singular pronouns and the occasional cuss words. To make my final argument of why gender-neutral language is worthless, I present to you Psalm 1 in the NRSV and the ESV.

1 Happy are those
who do not follow the advice of the wicked,
or take the path that sinners tread,
or sit in the seat of scoffers;
2 but their delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law they meditate day and night.
3 They are like trees
planted by streams of water,
which yield their fruit in its season,
and their leaves do not wither.
In all that they do, they prosper.
4 The wicked are not so,
but are like chaff that the wind drives away.
5 Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous;
6 for the LORD watches over the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked will perish.


1Blessed is the man
who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers;

2but his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night.

3He is like a tree
planted by streams of water
that yields its fruit in its season,
and its leaf does not wither.
In all that he does, he prospers.

4The wicked are not so,
but are like chaff that the wind drives away.

5Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous;

6for the LORD knows the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked will perish.

One of the most important ways I learned how to read the Psalms is Christologically. When you read Christ in the Psalms, the gospel jumps out at you suddenly and you see this prayerbook and hymnal in ways you never imagined. The NRSV eliminated all mentions of the first-person singular masculine, even though it is there in the Hebrew. When you see "Blessed is the man," you can see Christ in the Psalm. When you see, "Blessed are those," Christ disappears and the one aspect of the Psalter that has led the Church to use them for its hymnbook for the past 2000 years is gone. By neutering the Bible, that eliminated the Christological aspects of the Bible and also the distinction between law and gospel. You lose law/gospel, the whole key to understanding the Bible is gone. By emasculating the Bible, the NRSV emasculated the Gospel. That's why gender-neutral language is a crock.

When did the study Bible cease to perform the function it was originally designed to perform? A good study Bible at one time helped bring a historical context to the Bible and helped explain the text by giving a fuller explanation of the words. It helps in cross-referencing and helps bring the Bible into the 21st Century. How many Bibles can you think of that does that? There's the Teen Bible, the Woman's Bible, the Men's Bible, Life-Application, Pastor's, Eschatological, etc. Not one actually accomplishes what a study Bible is supposed to. Rather, they're all products manufactured by the Christian subculture to play to people who either don't know better or to people who do know better but don't actually care. So, is there a Bible out there that still does this? Yes, the New Oxford Annotated Bible and the Harper Collins Study Bible. Unfortunately, they are both NRSV Bibles. The NRSV translation is trumped by academics to be a very accurate translation. The NRSV wouldn't know what to do with a male pronoun. Wait, they do know: eliminate. Did I mention most of the academics are liberals? So, what other problems do these Bibles have? The editors are all liberals so the historical-critical method is rampant throughout these Bibles, even with all the good stuff. So, us poor conservatives have to deal with a lousy translation and notes which offend every fiber of our body. They also have great historical information and excellent tools. Why isn't there a conservative equivalent to these Bibles? There is a market for a Bible like this. I'd buy it. Use the ESV, NKJV, NASB or any other conservative translation and put together a solid study Bible.

I have about three posts backed up in my brain right now. I have on about how useless most study bibles are and the ones that are useful have problems with translations used and a nasty liberal bias. I have a post about gender-neutral language and how useless it actually is. I also have a post on how nervous I am thinking about teaching ESL. In case you are wondering, I am fine. The only thing I am even remotely concerned about is I have a slightly elevated liver enzymes. I have no idea where this came from. I honestly don't drink very much, so I have to wonder if I caught something that I don't know about. I'm not really worried. My hernia is slight, so I don't need surgery.

Help me out
Dig

All I do is grunt and groan
Hurts me to walk anywhere
Went to see my physician, Dr. Jones
He took my trousers off, told me to cough
Doctor says there ain't nothin' to discuss
He tells me any day I might have to wear a truss

Living with a hernia, ow
All the time, such aggravation
Living with a hernia
Gonna be my ruination
Living with a hernia
Got to have an operation
Feel so old, ow

Too much bad pain
Good God, drives me insane
Can't run, barely crawl
Got a bulge in my intestinal wall

Walk real funny, bless my soul
Can't play tennis and it's hard to bowl
You can't even do the splits now
Say it
Better call it quits now
Now I'm sick of all this dancin' anyhow

Living with a hernia
Hurts me bad in a tender location
Living with a hernia
Had enough humiliation
Living with a hernia
Got to have an operation

Ow, I live with a hernia
Can't get up, can't bend over
Now I live with a hernia

Wait a minute
You may not be familiar with the common types
Of hernias that you could get
So just settle down, let me clue you in

There's incomplete ( incomplete)
Epigastric (epigastric)
Bladder, huh (bladder)
Strangulated (strangulated)
Lumbar hernia (lumbat hernia)
Richter's hernia (Richter's hernia)
Obstructed (obstructed)
Inguinal and Direct

Living with a hernia
Rupture
I said it's causin' me such irritation
Living with a hernia
Have to have my medication
Living with a hernia

Yeah, I feel bad


If you've never had the joy of listening to this song, it's by "Weird Al" Yankovic and it's to the tune of James Brown's Living in America. The video is awesome. Too bad he didn't mention hiatal hernias in this song.

For those of you who may not be keeping up with Rathergate, you might want to check this summary out. Power Line has been covering this story since because it literally broke when someone sent an e-mail to them and they started snooping. If these fake memos have any connection to the Kerry Campaign, he can kiss the presidency goodbye. Dan Rather can already kiss his job goodbye and CBS can kiss its credibility goodbye. Dan, it's time for you to do the honorable thing and fall on your sword. The sooner, the better.

Alright, I know my silence has been somewhat disconcerting to everyone, including me. Here is what was going on. I had been having chest pains that I sometimes also felt in my stomach and I thought I was having problems with my heart. I went to the doctor and heart problems have been ruled out because of my age and because my symptoms, while mimicking heart problems, are missing two key symptoms which would have made heart problems a reality. I haven't been experiencing shortness of breath and the pain doesn't correlate with exercise, per se. Now that I know what it up, what I was feeling made sense. I started feeling better whenever I walked or ran, but my pain increased when I started lifting heavy objects. My Physician's Assistant sent me to drink "the milkshake" and receive a radiology exam. I had the upper gastrointestinal exam, and I have a hiatal hernia. This thing can be nasty. Some people end up with chest pain so bad that they think they are having a heart attack. So, I have to see what plan of treatment they may want to take. I do know this. I have to lose weight.

My insurance card came in today. Off to the doctor tomorrow!

Yes, I missed the part about the steak that made me nauseous. I don't think Ron and Erica knew how close I was to blowing my diner all over their apartment. I'm feeling better since I ate a banana.

How did I celebrate Labor Day? I'm glad you asked. My bedroom looked like someone took a bunch of paper and put a fan behind it. There was paper everywhere, and I had books lying all over the floor. My bedroom looked like a recycling plant gone mad. So, I chose today to try to tame the mess and bring some order into a room where order was lacking. I spent about six hours in my room and it's about halfway done. I figure another four to six hours and I'll have my bedroom back. I drug out three good sized trashbags worth of paper. I filled my fourth about a quarter of the way. This is what happens when you collect eight years worth of geology, religion, and politics papers. You end up throwing much of it away and you only keep the stuff you absolutely need. My room does look better, however. Not clean, just better.

I haven't felt well the past few weeks. I don't know what it is, but I have been eating more fruits and vegetables and that seems to help some. I hope my new insurance card comes soon because I am overdue for a measles and the infamous tetanus shot. The last time I had a tetanus shot, it was right before going river rafting. If I can suggest one thing to everybody, don't get a tetanus shot before doing anything strenuous.

I was pulled over tonight. My break lights are out. A fuse must have gone out because all my taillights shouldn't be all out all at once. I'm waiting for my car to die so I have an excuse to go out and buy a newer car that I can run into the ground.

That's my Labor Day. I hope you enjoyed yours more than I enjoyed mine.

I still have six g-mail invitations to give out. If you want one, just e-mail me. First-come, first-served.

What happened to summer this year? In Kansas, a normal summer includes at least 30 days of 100+ degree F temperatures (and normally more) with maybe two or three thunderstorms that cool us off to 80. We had two days of 100+ temps. We spent most of the summer hovering anywhere between 80-90 and sometimes dropping into the 70s. It rained like crazy. We are currently around 10 inches over our normal rainfall. It sucks because the grass grows quickly with all that water. I would have liked a week or two of really hot weather to kill the grass off, or at least force it to grow much slower.

I just added an amateur radio blog to my blogroll. If you don't like it, tough!

I admit I find some things funny that others will just go "huh?" to. That's how blog of the week came about. Miss Diehl posted this comment.

I think I should have been ranked higher.

So, I though about this dilemma (and the probably silliness that this comment was typed with.) How could I take a comment that, after reading it fifty times, finally got through my head was probably meant to be humorous? The only way to one-up the request is to actually fulfill it. Thus, the blog of the week. The blog of the week will hold the honored position below the German Beer Girl. There is only one real criteria for getting your blog into the blog of the week spot: you have to make me laugh. You don't even have to make me laugh on your blog! You can do it in my comments, someone else's comments, or make bad John Hus jokes that I can't help but laughing at, even though it approaches sacrilegious. How long you remain in the Blog of the Week position will be determined by a scientific formula based on the average density of limestone or how long you can stand the comfy chair. Actually, it will change the next time someone says something funny to me. Thus, Bunnie could loose her position as soon as Monday (being the first blog of the week, she's safe for the weekend) or she may never be knocked off her throne by anyone (possible, but unlikely unless she says, "Ni!" to old ladies). This is completely silly and sophomoric, but I never said I would be a perfectly mature.

I have six g-mail invitations to give out. I shall not give them out willy nilly, however, unlike some anonymous blogger who will soon top my blogroll in a desperate act of appeasement. There will actually be an order of priority. The priority list goes as follows:

1) Confessional Lutheran Bloggers (excluding blogger users, who are supposed to get an invitation automatically).
2) Amateur Radio Operators
3) Everybody else

If you are an amateur radio operator, please give me your callsign. That way, if I ever pass my code exam, I just might be able to talk to you (unless we run into each other on six meters, which is always a possibility). Imagine the Monty Python net on 20 meters! I can see it now! You can send me pictures of your EME array!

Anyway, at 5:00pm tomorrow, I'll sort through my e-mail, first-come first-served with the priorities listed above. If there are any invitations left after that, I'll announce it and it will be first-come first-served, no priority. Your e-mails should be directed towards daniel period sellers AT gmail period com. Not valid in Alaska or Hawaii. (Not that anyone from either of those states is actually reading my blog).

John Kerry: Psychopath. It sure goes a long way to describing the self-destruction he will reap after that insane and incoherent (eighth commandment demands this: better than cheap and petty) speech he gave last night. A canidate who does not think he's in trouble wouldn't have pulled something off like this. Thank you, Mr. Kerry, for insuring President Bush's reelection.

I am probably not going to change anyone's mind about the whole politics thing. All I can say is that I don't want a pacifist in the White House or a guy who is going to sit here and wait around like Lurch until we get attacked to act. I quote a man of great wisdom, a Navy Seal, who once said, "(expletive deleted) the (expletive deleted)ers before they (expletive deleted) you."

The only way to have improved on Zell Miller's speech is if R. Lee Ermey had delivered it. The Democrats need to realize if they don't like fire, you should start the BBQ.

Must I say how disappointed I am in all my readers. I give you all the answers to a very silly quiz I come up with thanks to me mouthing off about a certain piece of music that shall never be named and a certain composer who shall remain anonymous, and no one bit and answered properly. I give you all the answers you would need (comments and trackback is your crib sheet). You all call yourself Monty Python fans?!