I have now added three new political links to my blog.

IMAO: Unfair. Unbalanced. Unmedicated.

I've been reading Frank J.'s blog for quite a while. All I can say is that he is very funny and completely insane and completely right.

Moxie

Cute and hates liberals. A killer combo.

Michelle Malkin

One of the best commentators on why protecting our borders matter.

I made some comments on an internet board I frequent when the topic came up on the misuse of the law. Since many of the people were impressed by what I had to say (I was surprised at how well my comments were accepted, to be honest), I decided to reproduce my short comments (slightly edited to correct the typos) to see how you all like them.

Much of the problem, IMHO, stems from the twisting by many of what it means to be a Christian. Does it means we live as better people? No. Does it mean we are happier than the world? No. Often, we are just as miserable and struggle with the same problems the world faces. Rain falls on the just and unjust alike. What then drives the Christian? The Cross. The Christian whose life is centered around the cross is the Christian who gets it. The cross is where forgiveness of sins take place, so there must be repentance. Christianity, being centered around the cross, is best and most powerfully expressed through the repentant life, not the "victorious" life.

Kerry's October surprise

This has commentary on the link I listed bellow as The Smoking Gun. These documents prove that the North Vienamese were running the antiwar movement in this country (no surprise since the communist front group A.N.S.W.E.R. is behind most of the antiwar demonstrations since 9-11). Kerry was involved with these groups and attended more than one meeting while still a Naval Reservist.

The documents -- which actually LOOK like they came from the 1970s and not from a Microsoft Word program -- were found at the Vietnam Center at Texas Tech University in Lubbock and reproduced from captured communist records. These documents have been PROVEN 100 percent authentic BEFORE their release, unlike those 60 Minutes National Guard documents that CBS refuses to investigate. They show that Madame Nguyen Thi Binh, the Viet Cong provisional governor of South Vietnam at the Paris Peace Talks, delivered a plan from Le Duc Tho -- Ho Chi Minh's second in command -- for American anti-war activities that anti-war protesters followed to the letter.

...

Shortly after Kerry returned from the talks he delivered Madame Binh's peace proposal through a press conference on July 22, 1971. He did so with veterans' families around him, a tactic that was suggested by the communists. However, he said he only attended the peace talks because he was on his honeymoon in Paris.

There are two problems, Hanoi John met twice, and possibly thrice, with communist officials in Paris. Also, his honeymoon was spent at the Jamaica home of the Pershing family with then (other) heiress wife, Julia Thorne, in 1970. I suppose Paris was a second honeymoon.

Kerry had also met illegally with Binh in 1970 while he was still a Naval officer on inactive reserve status, and in fact, all his meetings were under the six-year window of the term of his enlistment. This precludes him from even running for elective office, much less president, but nobody is mentioning it for some reason. Amendment 14, Section 3 states: "No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice-president, having previously taken an oath to support the Constitution of the United States, [who has] engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof."

So, if you vote for Kerry, you are voting for a man who is not only ineligible for the Office of the Presidency, but he is also a traitor. Right now, he should be facing a court of law for what he did, not running for President. A vote for Kerry is a vote against the rule of law. A vote for Kerry is a vote for Benedict Arnold.

A new documentary we should all want to see. This ought to give Moore a run for his money.

Speaking of Moore, Osama was using Moore's points from Fahrenheit 911. It just goes to prove which side the radical left is actually on.

Tax hypocrisy
. One more reason why I think Kerry is a janiform timeserver.

While I'm on this screed, I think everyone should read Eros Colored Glasses.

Time to let off more steam.

Most decorated U.S. vet: Kerry a 'Benedict Arnold'

Kerry's religious references

WHY THE LEFT DOESN'T CARE THAT KERRY IS A PROVEN LIAR

And finally, The Smoking Gun

This Just In—Kerry's IQ Likely Lower than Bush's!

Vote or Die (mov file)

via Joshua Claybourn

Blogger's Head Explodes

Tonight, the inevitable finally happened in class. I was helping our students go through a 911 call because, well, they need to learn what to say in case of an emergency. We had one student making the call with another student pretending to be the 911 operator. The call went something like this.

Student 1: Hello, 911
Student 2: There is a fire in where?
Teacher : in my house
Student 2: There is a fire in my house.
Student 1: Ummm, O shit!
Women in class: (Shocked expression on their faces)
Me: I will send
Student 1: I will send
Me: a firetruck
Student 1: a firetruck.

So it goes in ESL. Student one is now in a pile of mierda con su esposa.

This reminded me of an interesting fact. Did you know the words shit and schism both are derived from a common ancestor?

Schism

Shit

English is such a strange language.

One less person voting for Kerry. You know, I might consider voting for a pro-life Democrat, but all the party has proved to me is that it is full of criminals like this guy.

"Bring out your dead! We need them to vote!" Democratic Operative.

Here we are, on the brink, possibly, of electing a self-confessed war criminal to the Oval Office -- a man who, as an American officer, parlayed with the enemy, and... nothing. No questions, no stories. No thoughts, no curiosity. We contemplate a new wartime leader whose political epiphany -- the famous Christmas in Cambodia, "seared, seared" into Mr. Kerry's memory -- never happened. Questions, stories in the MSM? Not a one. We consider trusting our very lives to a man who has consistently hewed to the wrong side of history, favoring appeasement and disarmament over democratic principle and strength, but we know nothing of his current thinking on those old positions.

The Whole Article

If you've wondered where I went, I didn't go anywhere. I just haven't had the chance to sit down at a computer to try to contemplate the secrets of the universe.

The poll is going exactly as I predicted it would (in my own mind). My faithful readers (all ten of you, perhaps) have not voted every day and often. If you haven't voted again today, you might as well. Classical music looked like it might catch Rock music there for a while, but Rock music has pulled out to a comfortable lead. Jazz now has two votes, and good old country music has no fans on this blog. Well, it has one, but that one doesn't vote on his own polls.

It's T-minus seven days until the election and T-minus eight days until the lawsuits.

I have to get back to work.

Enough national politics. Let's drag ourselves back to LCMS politics!

ON THE WAY TO EPISCOPÉ: RESOLUTION 8-01A OF THE 2004 LC-MS CONVENTION IN THE LIGHT OF SYNODICAL HISTORY (PDF)

The Future of Confessional Lutheranism: A Summary

The Service of Women in Congregational Offices, 1969 to 2004

LIFE IN THE POST 2004 CONVENTION ERA: A PASTOR’S PERSPECTIVE

Life in the Post – 2004 Convention Era – A View from the Pew

HOW TWO MISSOURI SYNOD LEADERS HANDLED FALSE DOCTRINE AND DISSENT IN THE TWENTIETH CENTURY: FRANCIS PIEPER AND JOHN BEHNKEN

In Statu Confessionis: Origins and Development

DISSENT: WHAT ARE OUR OPTIONS?

More Democratic hypocricy

Now the Patriot Act isn't tough Enough

The Democratic Party is showing its true colors again

More Democratic Fun

More honesty in the modern Deocratic Party

I watched as Kerry spoke Spanish in the news today and I about fell over laughing. I needed to see some good comedy from Kerry. Most of the time I just get sick when I see him.

I found the link

On November 2, the entire civilised world will be praying, praying Bush loses. And Sod's law dictates he'll probably win, thereby disproving the existence of God once and for all. The world will endure four more years of idiocy, arrogance and unwarranted bloodshed, with no benevolent deity to watch over and save us. John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, John Hinckley Jr - where are you now that we need you?

I would give you the link from where I found this gem, but The Guardian deleted the article and the link no longer exists. The Corner and Instapundit were on it like flies on a garbage can. Are people this stupid? This is one of the most outrageous things I have ever read! You wonder why I will never go left? Sentiments like this will keep me solidly conservative. Thank you, Guardian. Honestly, while I have been defending Bush, I've given serious thought to voting for Peroutka because Bush isn't exactly my kind of conservative. He's spent huge amounts of money on Education and other social programs when we would all be better off eliminating the Department of Education since education should be a local issue rather than a national issue. However, the continued ad homenin attacks and ludicrous statements continuing to emanate from the fascist left (repetitive, I know) are driving me to vote Republican just to piss the left off. So, I am now announcing I am giving the left the middle finger and voting for Bush even though he'll take Kansas anyway. I probably would have broken down and voted for Bush soon anyway, but I would like to thank The Guardian for helping solidify my mind.

Saddam Hussein's Philanthropy of Terror

Congratulations to Rob and Devona!!!! In celebration of the wonderful gift God has given them, Love and Blunder is now the Blog of the Week! They will soon learn the same lesson Chris Burgwald learned: blogging and babies don't mix. Congratulations once again!

I am at the point now that I can't look at John Kerry without getting a pit in my stomach and wanting to poke my own eyes out. John Edwards is no better. All I see of him is a guy who probably is now killing more people than they are saving. Both of these men make me want to vomit.

Look Inside Kerry's Mind and You Find a "False Personality"

If Kerry wins, Clint and Chris can look forward to four years of Upper Class Twit of the Year jokes.

Liberation Online: A look at Iraq's bloggers

I have put up a new poll for everyone to vote on. Too many of you wanted to see my beer belly. This poll is to see what kind of taste (or lack thereof) you all (my readers) have. Thus, on this poll, even if you do not comment, if you just drop by every once in a while, if you decide to never read my blog again, you must vote in this poll! You will determine the probable music for this blog in the future! Vote Early! Vote Often!

I have a new political party which I fully support.

The Guns and Dope Party

If that isn't your taste in politics, try:

The Neowhig Party

A quote from their manifesto:

Looking good on camera does not make one an expert at anything (except looking good on camera). The combined IQ of Hollywood is less than the total number of teeth of three randomly selected West Virginians.

So neither of those parties really reflect your thoughts on politics. Here's another party to consider:

The Feline Party

Alright, here's another party for your consideration:

The Party Party

Hmmmmm

The Pushy Party

Thermodynamic Law Party

And, because you are asking for it:

The Monster Raving Looney Party of the United States

I have a new poll up for everyone to vote on. Have fun!

By the way, I have enabled the poll such that you can vote every 24 hours if you really want to. Remeber the Democrat's motto: "Vote Early! Vote Often!"

Why I Shall Remain a Republican.

Go see "Team America." The many negative reviews it is getting is because it hits the left very hard. This movie starts out by prentending to kick the right in the balls but ends by, well, I won't say. Let me just say that the end was one of the clearest explanations of why we have to fight the war on terrorism (even in Iraq) I have ever heard. You see, there are three types of people in this world. There are ..., forget it. If I went through the whole thing, I would violate my own rules. Go see the movie. It's funny.

Read Rodger Simon's take on it while you're bored.

I've rearranged my blogroll (once again) and added a poll asking a simple question. I've moved the ELCE blogs up on my blogroll for the simple fact that we are in altar and pulpit fellowship and WELS isn't.

If you fell on my blogroll, it's simply because you are not posting enough! Post and you shall rise!

In the grand tradition of what happens when I place blogs on my blogroll, IntollerantElle has not posted anything since being added to my blogroll.

Brian deep-sixed his blog, and Tentatio's blog has just vanished into thin air. Bummer.

I am not exactly the perfect picture of health. My blood pressure has risen, my chest aches sometimes, and my liver enzymes are still a little higher than they should be. So, what do I do? I take it out on the elliptical machine.

Yes, I am working out on a regular basis. In two and a half weeks, my blood pressure is beginning to fall, my chest still hurts sometimes (that has more to do with what I eat than anything) and my liver enzymes are, well, they are still elevated. I might have to go to the health food store and find something to purge my liver. Then again, the fact that I recently began cutting all the junk out of my diet might help some.

I have just become aware of a new webgroup that has sprung up. It is called Orthodox-Lutheran Dialogue. They are looking for both Lutherans and Eastern Orthodox participants to discuss theology civilly. If you are interested, check it out.

Why am I unable to spell today? I sit here and read my post I made this morning and I sit there and read my reply to Norma and I squirm because I see my spelling errors. I need an editor. I can only pay this person in beer, however.

The bellow post is what you get when you are being distracted by something like, say, a baseball game. The sentance should read, "Why subject myself to that torture when I already know who I am going to vote for and no performance in a debate by either candidate is going to change my mind about that and there are perfectly good baseball games to watch."

I am extremely proud to say that I have watched, in total, approximately three minutes of all four debates. Why subject myself to that torture when I already know who I am going to vote for and no performance in a debate by either candidate and there are perfectly good baseball games to watch. What is more interesting to me, however, is how people react to the debate. So, I'll spend the next few days reading the spin and seeing what the internet says.

I went back to Norma's home church website. I decided I was going to test the orthodoxy of this church by putting in three simple words. See what the results are!

This is further evidence of my contention that her congregation isn't really all that Lutheran.

This all may sound to some people as me being a whinny little Gen-Xer who is still a little immature. That is true of other things (my obsessions with Monty Python and Beer are the two most obvious) but once we begin treading into the realm of theology, I become very serious. Much of the reason why I am so silly sometimes is because I carry scars. They are very visible if you ever meet me. It's hard to miss the biggest scar on the right side of my face, a reminder every day of a six-year old's world turned upside-down. There are many people who poo-poo plastic surgery. Most people think of plastic surgery as something unnecessary, something done to reverse age or to lose weight, not realizing plastic surgery is sometimes necessary. Being the recipient of such a case, I have nothing but gratitude for plastic surgeons. That's besides the point, however. The point is when I need to become serious, I am very serious. I've had too much crap happen too early in my life for me not to be. I take theology very seriously and I take Christian Freedom very seriously. It's no secret that I have problems with the ELCA. Orthodoxy is lacking within the ELCA. UALC is just a different expression of that heterodoxy. Normally, heterodoxy is expressed through relying on historical-criticism and reinterpreting scripture in light of the modern culture. The UALC buys into the modern notion of Protestantism at the expense of the cathlicity of Lutheranism. It's kind of like replacing a good, balanced meal with a bowl of sugar. Sure, you can survive temporarily on that but you sure wouldn't want that diet for the long run. Programs dominate when Word and Sacrament should. Honestly, I feel bad that people get suckered by this.

I have a lot of to discuss. I shall discuss these things in no particular order.

#1--OU wins. Texas still sucks.

#2--Beerfest was an amazing event once again. The Swede, our friend Jeff, and I all attended. We arrived early and had a good place in line. Last year, we were stuck in the middle of nowhere and it took us over 10 minutes to get into the venue. This year, we were in within a couple of minutes of the doors opening. Ron went hunting to see where the "Cooking with Beer" and "Lager tasting" events. Jeff and I went hunting to see if, like last year, there would be a tasting for the Sam Adams Millennium beer. Nope. We found Ron, who repeatedly said he would pace himself after last year, working on his second beer 10 minutes into this thing. What you did was bounce from one large table to the next drinking ~6 FL oz of beer each time. I decided that I was going to try beers that I had never drank before. That, however, was more difficult than I realized. When you start bouncing from table to table, you realize what you have tried and what you haven't. I've tried a lot of different beers. I drank a bottle of water before even thinking about drinking a beer. By the point my lips first tasted porter, Ron had already consumed 5 drinks. Jeff had just finished his second. So much for pacing ourselves. I finished my second drink (a dark cider reminiscent of the song Johnny Jump Up) when we went to the "cooking with Beer" seminar. It was informative and I had the chance to try a couple of recipes that use beer. After that, I kept pacing myself and I tried more beers. During this time, Jeff quit drinking (he had to drive us home) while Ron suddenly began paying for the binging. We attended the Lager seminar which was led by Lew Bryson, who is considered a God in the beer world. We tasted (much smaller samples) 5 different lagers and learned some of the differences between lagers and ales. Ales are like a rainforest, which has many different types of trees verses lagers which are like the black forest which just has one tree. Ales have many flavors while lagers are much milder and much more subtle. We tasted many lagers starting at Budweiser all the way up to a strong Double Bock which begins taking on some of the characteristics of ales. After the talk, I went hunting for more beer while Jeff and Ron drank water and tried to sober up. While I was busy, the two saw a woman who was wearing a v-cut. It seemed like she was about to explode. During all of this, a group of cute women were pinching each other in the butt. I returned to see the spectacles around us. I went away to find Jeff talking with a couple of his coworkers. We finally returned home. While going home, a conversation ensued.

Ron: There was a lot of cute girls there.
Me: All of the cute girls had boyfriends.
Ron: No, there were a few cute girls without any men with them.
Me: Yeah, but they were playing grabass with each other.

You had to be there.

#3--IntollerantElle joins my blogroll under the proper label- WELS/ELS.

#4--I had more blood removed this morning to rerun my liver enzymes.

#5--Working out on elliptical machines is one way to inadvertently surround yourself with women. Yes, that happened this morning. The plan I am on calls for one week on the treadmill, one week on the bikes and one week on the elliptical machines.

You've judged a Lutheran congregation with 3 campuses and 9 services by my comment about your beer? That's quite a leap.

Actually, your congregation website had a lot to do with my judgment along with confirmation from a gentleman who also happens to live in your area.

Does anybody know why this is an important day? Anyone? Anyone? Today is the 35th Anniversary of the first airing of the first episode of Monty Python's flying Circus. Dead Parrots will never be the same.

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(The owner does not respond.)

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?

Owner: What do you mean "miss"?

Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

Owner: We're closin' for lunch.

Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.

Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

Mr. Praline: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

Mr. Praline: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you
show...

(owner hits the cage)

Owner: There, he moved!

Mr. Praline: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!

Owner: I never!!

Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!

Owner: I never, never did anything...

Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.

Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!

Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?

Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.

Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour
ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the
first place was that it had been NAILED there.

(pause)

Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and
VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

Owner: No no! 'E's pining!

Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e
rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the
bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

(pause)

Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh,
we're right out of parrots.

Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.

Owner: I got a slug.

(pause)

Mr. Praline: Pray, does it talk?

Owner: Nnnnot really.

Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?

Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)

Mr. Praline: Well.

(pause)

Owner: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?

Mr. Praline: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.

The blog of the week, once again, has changed. Thomas took it away from Chris by posting a quote from P.J. O'Rourke, one of my favorite authors period.

Who is Norma?

I was curious about this Lutheran Church this lady Norma is attending, so I began hunting. I went hunting because I have heard of just about every podunk synod that exists in the US. Before I went chasing my tail, however, I checked the LCMS website (link provided in my blogroll under Lutheran Links). There is a handy directory that I use to keep track of churchworkers I know and send them the occasional harassing e-mail (j/k). Nothing there. I check on the ELCA website. Here's a piece of good news. You scroll down towards the bottom, you see this link. Norma is a member of an ELCA congregation. Now, I don't hold this against someone. Chris made my blog of the week and I still link to the Lutheran Confessions site even when I dislike many of the political views expressed on those sites. In reality, as long as you have a sense of humor, I really could care less. What maddened me, however, at Norma is that she seems to be a part of the humorless sect of the ELCA, which is quite large. Her church seems to be conservative, but conservative in the American Evangelical sense rather than a Lutheran sense. I find no mention of the confessions, but plenty of mentions of the Purpose Driven Fad. Their statement on worship was violently ripped from the pages of Rick Warren's shite-ridden masterpiece. It's a statement that doesn't even begin to cover what Lutheran worship actually is and turns the whole concept of the Divine service on its head. Another gem is the statement, "In the pages of these 66 books..." Alarm bells start going off with this gem. Anytime any Lutheran congregation begins defining what is and isn't in the Bible, Calvinism alerts go off. I could give other examples of the rampant pietism running through this congregation, but the above two should suffice.

From the single comment Norma left, I can say there is a high probability that the pietism that affects this congregation has rubbed off onto her.

Right War, Right Place, Right Time: Kerry is wrong: Iraq is central to defeating al Qaeda

Here are a couple more links for us all to ponder.

MoveOnPlease.Org-- Who knew National Lampoon could satirize the left since P.J. O'Rourke left.

Logical fallacies-- Any major fallacy you can think of is here plus many more you may not have realized. Everyone will benefit from this.

In case you haven't found your way to The Holy Observer, you've missed this crucial article. CBS News Claims Documents Disprove Christ's Resurrection: Authenticity of Purported Memoirs of Thomas the Disciple Under Fierce Attack.

I asked Norma to take me off her blogroll a while back. It hasn't happened. I happen to think she's just a pietist trying to scare up the ghost of Philip Jacob Spener. It's not that Spener shoudn't be scared up on occasion, but right now, Spener is almost overruning Lutheranism (the conventicle liveth) while Luther, Chemnitz, and Bach are all scratching their heads wondering what happened. Luther wanted to haunt the papacy after he died. Luther needs to reconsider this statement and begin scaring the crap out of certain people within the LCMS. Anyway, it wouldn't surprise me if she didn't know who Spener was. Sad.

I haven't written much about theology lately. There have been other important things vying for my attention. So, to completely make up for a lack of discussion of theology, I give you all these links to ponder.

Why Is the Lutheran Church a Liturgical Church?

Martin Chemnitz on Rites and Ceremonies

How Festivals Are Observed in Our Churches in the Fear of God

Exhortation to Communicants

Deathly Evangelism: Guilty of False Advertising

Ecumenism: Facts and Illusions

On Lay Readers